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US News

ArticleCategoryDateAuthorCommentsViewsRating
Girl Who Didn't Want Her Picture Taken Gets It Taken Anyway
US News 10/24/2010 Mark (0) 18262 0
Woman Lost in Parking Ramp for Four Days Found Alive
US News 3/4/2010 Kris (3) 8270 0
Cold Weather Snap Makes Global Warming Liberal Girl Cry
US News 1/9/2010 Mark (4) 23792 5
Released Baby Rhinos Could Spell Doom for North America
US News 11/3/2009 Kris (0) 8617 0
We Ask, America Answers! Part 1: Who, Or What, Is An Al Gore?
US News 8/1/2009 Mark (0) 3344 0
Civil War Reenactor Pissed That He hasn't Had A Chance To Really Kill Somebody
US News 7/25/2009 Mark (2) 3397 0
Clay Aiken Tops List That Truly Straight Guys Would Like To Kick The Crap Out Of
US News 6/13/2009 Mark (23) 4416 1
Male Stripper Kills 7 Women at Local Nursing Home
US News 5/22/2009 Mark (0) 4914 5
Local Girl Relies On STD Stats To Remind Her Not Getting Laid Isn’t So Bad
US News 3/27/2009 Mark (2) 4159 4
Phone Number Left for Waitress Billed as Tip
US News 3/19/2009 Kris (0) 4378 0
Louisiana in Terror after Governor Announces $666 Million Stimulus
US News 3/13/2009 Kris (0) 3169 0
Americans Ecstatic About $10 a Week Stimulus
US News 2/27/2009 Kris (2) 5938 4
The World According to Lothar, Special Valentine's Day Edition
US News 2/14/2009 Mark (0) 2919 0
Florida Braces for 18 Degree Storm of the Century
US News 2/4/2009 Kris (0) 5245 0
Fat Man Drops a Bomb in Airport Bathroom, Panic Ensues
US News 2/3/2009 Kris (0) 4495 4
Confessions of a Lobster Killer
US News 1/10/2009 Mark (0) 3013 0
Alzheimer Patients Donate Three Times as Much as Non-sufferers
US News 1/2/2009 Kris (0) 3044 0
What is The Functionating Click?
US News 11/27/2008 Mark (0) 2569 5
Local Man Confirms Lunacy, Can't Wait For Hot Food To Cool
US News 11/23/2008 Mark (3) 2638 0
Man Takes Uneventful Drive Through Countryside
US News 11/3/2008 Kris (1) 2471 2
Giant Multicolored Dots Threaten United States
US News 10/9/2008 Kris (0) 3458 0
Maine Residents Disappointed By Lack of Killer Storm
US News 9/29/2008 Kris (0) 2771 0
Guy On Tracks Waving For Train to Stop Could have Prevented Crash
US News 9/15/2008 Kris (0) 2867 0
Proposed Border Fence Won't Stop Illegal Aliens from Space
US News 9/10/2008 Kris (0) 5495 0
One Legged Man Wins Ass Kicking Competition
US News 9/7/2008 Kris (3) 26749 4.5
Duck Stamp Misprint Sends Happy Customers to a Sex Chat Service
US News 9/4/2008 Kris (2) 3265 0
Caves Are the New Cool Place to Live
US News 8/25/2008 Kris (2) 3236 0
Captain Crunch Has Trouble Being Taken Seriously
US News 8/22/2008 Kris (0) 4442 0
Smoky Bear Admits Things Other Than You Can Also Prevent Forest Fires
US News 8/19/2008 Kris (1) 3675 0
Axe Murderers Give Hitchhikers a Bad Name
US News 8/9/2008 Kris (0) 4639 0
Local Woman Accused of Kicking the Crap Out of Every Man in Sight
US News 8/5/2008 Mark (0) 3182 0
Guy With Big Giant Head Laments Lifetime Of Presumed Super Brilliance
US News 6/30/2008 Mark (0) 3312 0
Dozens Of Gay Elephants Prepare To Wed In California
US News 6/16/2008 Mark (0) 3770 0
Gary, Indiana Officially Named America's Butthole
US News 5/21/2008 Kris (2) 5266 5
Dizzy Liberal Chick thinks Reading Glasses give her an Implied Air of Authority
US News 5/14/2008 Mark (0) 6204 0
Local Man Gets Ass Kicked For Not Observing Earth Hour
US News 3/29/2008 Mark (0) 4075 0
Angry Local Man Wants To Burn Down The Whole Fucking Internet
US News 1/12/2008 Mark (0) 4438 0
Local White Girl Listens To Hip Hop Music, Develops Puzzling Neurological Disorder
US News 8/3/2007 Mark (0) 6534 0
Dubuque Woman Witlessly Ogles Frozen Piece Of Plunging Airplane Pee, Experts Perplexed
US News 7/29/2007 Mark (0) 8696 0
Titless Wonder Admits She Makes Life Miserable For Busty Chested Gals
US News 7/15/2007 Mark (2) 11542 0
First Lesbian Experience Leaves Local Gal Just Brimming Over With Empowerment
US News 7/7/2007 Mark (0) 14374 0
Will A Barack Obama Victory Embolden Terrorism?
US News 7/3/2007 Mark (0) 5334 0
Cranial Nail Transforms Socially Apathetic Michigan Man Into Blathering Political Mouthpiece
US News 7/1/2007 Mark (0) 4226 0
Annual San Francisco Straight Parade Draws Record 26 Spectators
US News 7/1/2007 Mark (0) 7804 0
Jesse Davis Murder Highlights Perils Of Interracial Relationships
US News 6/24/2007 Mark (27) 8487 0
Divorced Michigan Man Watches Paint Dry, Actually Enjoys It
US News 6/6/2007 Mark (0) 4581 0
Close Encounters Of The Gigantic Kind Spook Michigan Man
US News 4/29/2007 Mark (0) 9661 0
The Virginia Tech Massacre Explained
US News 4/16/2007 Mark (2) 6167 0
Pooping Traffic Controller Causes Delays at Washington Airport
US News 4/12/2007 Kris (10) 4419 0
House Wins Big
US News 4/9/2007 Kris (0) 5573 0
Befuddled MoveOn.org Member Admits He Really Isn't Sure What He's Supposed To Be Moving On To
US News 3/11/2007 Mark (0) 7436 0
World's Ugliest Dog Dies, Thousands Of Norway, Michigan Women Flock To Claim Title
US News 2/28/2007 Mark (2) 4857 0
Beer Surpasses Dog as Man's Best Friend
US News 2/28/2007 Kris (3) 10084 0
Giant Pyramid Built in Suburbs Angers Neighbors
US News 2/17/2007 Kris (6) 13051 5
Is Liberal Yahoo News An Anti-American Information Source?
US News 2/3/2007 Mark (14) 6108 5
Bomb Sniffing Dog Detects Explosives Up Partner Pooch's Butt, Thousands Panic
US News 2/3/2007 Mark (0) 6790 0
Camel Sales As A Consumer Vehicle At An All Time High
US News 2/2/2007 Kris (0) 4679 0
Portly Pooch Flunks Diet, Perplexed Owner Passe
US News 1/23/2007 Mark (0) 5593 0
President Bush Promises to Send 10,000 Rodeo Clowns to Iraq
US News 1/16/2007 Kris (5) 4773 0
Local Automated Traffic Camera Captures Image Of Man's Speeding Ass
US News 1/5/2007 Mark (0) 9537 0
Chick With Apple Shaped Ass Fends Off Latest Wave Of Illicit Gropes And Grabs
US News 1/3/2007 Mark (0) 11205 0
Local Daschund Vainly Attempts To Fight Off Reputation As A Silly Little Weiner Dog
US News 12/12/2006 Mark (0) 4003 0
Mysterious Blanket Of Frozen White Matter Smothers Northeast U.S., Millions Panic
US News 12/9/2006 Mark (0) 4392 0
Beverage Store Employee Tries To Give A Flying Damp Crap About What Kind Of Wine You Want To Buy
US News 12/5/2006 Mark (0) 5953 0
Man Living In Anytown, USA Bombarded With Mail
US News 11/29/2006 Kris (0) 4021 0
Crazed Toddler Womps Playmate, To Be Tried As Adult
US News 11/7/2006 Mark (0) 4623 0
Hovel Dweller Laments Lifetime Of Decisive Indecisiveness
US News 10/29/2006 Mark (0) 4241 0
Hapless Hitch Hiker Laments End Of The Free Ride era
US News 10/18/2006 Mark (0) 4010 0
Teddy Bear Has No Remorse After Killing Thousands
US News 9/26/2006 Kris (0) 7179 0
Man Raised In Barn Refuses To Zip Up Fly
US News 9/8/2006 Kris (0) 4023 0
America's Love Affair With The Blue Car
US News 8/28/2006 Kris (0) 7273 0
Stinky Lake Erie Driveby Spawns Accusatory Carpool Glances
US News 8/13/2006 Mark (0) 8212 0
Ailing Chimp Gets Teeth Fixed, Makes Up For Time Lost Ailing
US News 8/10/2006 Mark (0) 6237 0
Researchers Unearth Boring Well
US News 7/28/2006 Kris (3) 4313 0
Forlorn Janitor Sadly Realizes No One Notices, Let Alone Pays Attention To Him
US News 6/26/2006 Mark (2) 8236 0
Local Man's Monthly Gasoline Costs Exceed Monthly Car Payment
US News 6/1/2006 Mark (0) 6508 0
Man Calls Another Man a Snow Cone Machine
US News 5/11/2006 Kris (1) 4558 0
April 13th Marks National Push All The Buttons on the Elevator Day
US News 4/9/2006 Kris (8) 12286 0
Wrestling Fan Bashes Co-worker with Steel Chair
US News 3/31/2006 Kris (1) 8744 0
Drunken Woman Loses Virginity
US News 3/10/2006 Kris (15) 55985 5
Man Faces Public Scorn After Inadvertantly Displaying Offensive License Plate
US News 2/6/2006 Kris (6) 8212 0
Notable Absence Of Superman Alarms Mankind
US News 1/25/2006 Mark (2) 6625 0
Missing Man Found on Toilet
US News 1/19/2006 Kris (0) 6052 0
Group Photos With Big-Ass Machine Gun Becoming National Fad
US News 1/10/2006 Mark (0) 8993 0
Confused Local Man Calls Neighbors's Dog A Dick
US News 1/7/2006 Mark (4) 6853 0
Frostbite Runs Rampant When Automatic Door Fails
US News 1/5/2006 Kris (0) 6966 0
'Jurassic Park Fallujah' Plans Unveiled
US News 1/4/2006 Mark (0) 6244 0
First Date Marriage Proposal Ends in Heartbreak
US News 12/28/2005 Kris (2) 6576 0
Big Lotto Win Guts Local Chicken Plant Staff
US News 12/22/2005 Mark (0) 5506 0
Derailed Train Wakes Hundreds
US News 12/10/2005 Kris (0) 5258 0
Local Man Reportedly Growing Used To Disappointment
US News 12/5/2005 Mark (1) 5079 0
Man Finds Inner Peace Under His Bed
US News 10/27/2005 Kris (0) 4729 0
One Minute Of Truth With A Fox TV Executive
US News 10/23/2005 Mark (0) 5885 0
Blue Jean Shorts Back in Fashion
US News 10/4/2005 Ken ReCorr (0) 6818 0
Plus Sized House Gals Named Top Suburban Scourge
US News 9/28/2005 Mark (5) 8095 0
Protesters Seek to Shut Down Evil Robot Factory
US News 9/14/2005 Kris (1) 6742 0
Ohio Woman Confesses To Being Pierogi Addict
US News 8/27/2005 Mark (0) 6483 0
Alabama Votes Benjamin Franklin Their Favorite President
US News 8/24/2005 Kris (3) 8059 0
Dizzy Illinois Girl Thinks Car Radio Mystically Sends Her Messages
US News 8/11/2005 Mark (1) 5681 0
Sumo Dad Scores Big In Daytona, FLA!
US News 8/9/2005 Mark (0) 5477 0
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