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Close Encounters Of The Gigantic Kind Spook Michigan Man
by Mark on 4/29/2007 (0) 
 | |  | | Oh Mama! | | NORWAY, MI - A strange, inexplicable melee of conspicuous giganticism reportedly haunted the day of Norway, Michigan resident Kris Steele. A baffled and beleaguered Steele describes:
"It started about 10 in the morning. A dark storm front blew in from the Nor'east, and as I was marveling at the roiling brew of black thunder clouds, hail the size of baseballs began raining down blows on my head. My first inclination was to grab my softball bat and my batting helmet and try to spank them off, but I got peppered before I got to the garage. Those suckers really hurt.
Steele's bout with gigantic objects didn't end there, however.
"I started my mower and went to cut my lawn, and stumbled on a mating pair of African giant snails. Never seen a gastropod that size in my life! They slimed up my forearm before I tossed them in my neighbor's bushes. It wouldn't have been a bad experience except for the 104 degree fever I developed a half an hour later, for sure!"
 | |  | | Yo yo Man! | | Steele later recanted "ordering a Monolith Burger off the menu at a college diner out of curiosity", and getting a "10 lb monster cheeseburger with all the trimmings", and later literally running into a pair of 50 FF boobs during a wet t-shirt contest at the local Hooter's bar and grill.
"As a whole, it was a pretty cool day." Steele blurred "But I still need to go back and do some digging for my wallet and my jockeys if you know what I mean!"
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