Divorced Michigan Man Watches Paint Dry, Actually Enjoys It
on 6/6/2007 (0)
NORWAY, MI - Recalcitrant Norway, Michigan, single father Kris Steele recently painted 2 bedrooms in his diminutive Norway, Michigan hovel and reportedly "enjoyed the overall wholesale, zombie-like intellectually paralyzing drying process."
"It was like a tough durable latex, water-soluble, semi-glossy, lint-free dry-walled semi-religious multi-chromatic biblical experience" explained a squint-eyed and washable Steele "I sat and could clearly see the shades change from a wet high brightness glossy hue to a more subdued matt-flat finish, and then the really dramatic difference occurred after about only a mere 10 hours, which was a real surprise. I sat and waited and watched and panted and hoped, and then...Bam! Like a healthy bitch slap on the brain, there it was!
Steele also reported that the only other events that induced an equal level of adrenaline soaking excitement in his dreary single-parent diaper-dipped days were "paying the gas bill online and actually having it stick or catching the mail man mid-stride with the child-support bills, not always in that context or discreet specific order."t
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