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Dubuque Woman Witlessly Ogles Frozen Piece Of Plunging Airplane Pee, Experts Perplexed
by Mark on 7/29/2007 (0)

Yep, that's a real stinker, alright!
DUBUQUE, IA - A Large chunk of frozen urine peppered with fecal material fell from a passing aircraft, blasting through the roof of a local Dubuque home. Startled Homeowner Kara Kunkle describes.

"It sounded like a bomb!" Blurted a beleaguered Kunkle "I was standing in the kitchen when an ice chunk crashed through the roof at about 5:30 a.m. Thursday. It was yellowish white with brown flecks, The main parts I picked up were very smooth. I jumped about a foot!"

Kunkle traced the damage to her television room, where she found a messy pile of insulation, bits of ceiling, splintered wood and about 50 pounds of solid yellowish brown ice.

Sam Spacey, a spokeswoman for the Federal Aviation Administration, said investigators would contact Kunkle to try to determine the source of the ice.

"It is not uncommon for something like this to come from an aircraft," Speculated Spacey "Sometimes the facilities on board the big passenger jets secrete frozen pieces of, well, you know, waste and stuff, and it comes crashing down to the ground below. It just so happens that sometimes it haplessly ends up in someone's living room."

Lev Lagoonis, a professor of geography at the University of Wisconsin, has studied the phenomenon of large chunks of ice falling from a clear sky. Lagoonis said it's possible the ice could have been a megacryometeor, similar to a hailstone, but without the thunderstorm, or speculated that the phenomenon could be linked to global warming, suggesting that climate change might make the tropopause portion of the atmosphere colder, moister and more turbulent, but stated that the frozen chunk was more likely than not composed of "umm, pee, with some other stinky yucky stuff mixed in."

"I wouldn't be ogling that thing, that's for sure." chided Lagoonis "The best end place for it would be the the exact same place it started out in, and remember to duck when you flush this time, for sure!" .go/tds/go.php?si

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