Ticker: Barack Obama Getting Blacker By The Minute
on 9/23/2007 (0)
WASHINGTON - White House hopeful Barack Obama, recently seen cavorting with pop singer Beyonce and shortly following a Glitterati fundraising tryst with Oprah, has become "markedly blacker" according to D.C. analysts and insiders.
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"In January, 2006, Barack metered a mere 40 percent black, primarily because of a perceived moderate stance on his domestic and global policies and the ability to speak impeccable, unblemished English." Explained D.C. analyst John David Stuuts. "But now, a dramatic change has occurred. After raising over 50 million fund raising dollars, most piecemeal from grass root black donors, and an increasingly polarized alliance with affluent blacks, most visibly Oprah, Barack has shifted to a full 65 percent black on the Honeywell Dark-0-Meter, and the number seems to be rising. Where it stops, nobody knows.
Not surprisingly, Obama's DNC poll numbers have slipped as a function of his perceived blackness, from a high of 26 percent in mid-2006 to less than 17 percent in some polls today, with Hillary Clinton commanding a towering 46 percent of the Democratic field, and lilly-white Southerner John Edwards challenging with a curious yet climbing 16 percent third.
"It might behoove Barack to try to lighten up a bit, so to speak." Stuuts professionally pondered. "If conservative stumping in the burbs' doesn't work, he might try something topical.They have creams for that these days, you know."
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