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Angry Local Man Wants To Burn Down The Whole Fucking Internet
by Mark on 1/12/2008 (0)

DETROIT, MI - Prickled and incensed Detroit resident Daetwon Stubbs recently vowed to "burn down the whole fucking internet" in a merely recent tirade from his 8th street apartment late Friday. Stubbs describes:

"I'm going to light this bitch up! Time for some whoop ass, Windows 95 style!" Snarled Stubbs "I'm so fucking sick of this spam shit, bogus porn links that say they're free and they ain't, and all the viruses and expensive software and those crazy tease bogus ugly fat azz white bitches on MySpace with phony Heidi Klum profile pics, man, I'd like to find the main internet motherfucker and toss his white silly chicken-poultry skin cracker Bill Gates pasty ass under a bus! Burn this motherfucker out now!"

Stubbs did not elaborate how he would burn a worldwide network of millions of servers connected with enough copper wire cable and optical lines to circle the earth over 20 times, but vowed "The next time I get some gay motherfucker freak dressed in a red wig trying to hustle me on my Black Planet page again, I'll rub two keyboards together like an Indian motherfucker and blow!"ispl

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