A long time ago, Charlie’s Angels protected the Earth, upholding justice with violence and shiny black leather. All was well until Charlie’s sudden death in a freak snakeskin accident (apparently the shirt wasn’t really dead). The Angels mourned themselves out of business, but from their ashes rose a new generation of Hollywood law-enforcement: Max’s Leprechauns.
|Don't worry, you can still book the Angels for birthday parties and other social gatherings, but their crime fighting days are over. |
Los Angeles always looked pretty fine that time of the summer. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the old hobo on the corner of 10th and Main Street was begging for drug money; yes, life was good.
Then they came.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!” said Max’s voice over the intercom.
All three leprechauns winced.
“What’s wrong, Max?” asked one of the Leprechauns.
“Sorry about that. My therapist says I should feel more. But that’s not the point, girls. The point is: you’ve got a mission. Fabulous Fabulo, the notorious film director is back in town. He’s seeking revenge for not being named the fifth Beatle back in the 60’s by setting loose his evil army of Egg Men and Walruses. Your assignment is to stop him at all costs.”
“Will do boss,” answered a second agent, “You can count on us.”
The intercom went silent. They were on their own.
Hysterical Leprechaun stood up and began pacing the room, cracking her knuckles. Insane Leprechaun closed her eyes, apparently deep in thought, though really she’d fallen asleep. Meanwhile, Nerdy Leprechaun, the brains of the team, pushed back her chair with an almighty lurch that brought her peers back to attention and/or consciousness.
“I have an idea!” said she, “All we have to do to stop Fabulous Fabulo is bombard him with LSD! The Leprechauns’ Super Device! It’ll blow him to smithereens!”
The other girls, having thought of nothing remotely tangible themselves, literally squealed with glee. Hysterical Leprechaun hurried to get the LSD and soon it had been launched toward enemy lines.
Time passed. The evil army of Egg Men and Walruses, instead of getting blasted to bits, seemed to actually be getting stronger. Something had gone wrong.
Hysterical Leprechaun had gotten the Leprechauns’ Super device LSD and Insane Leprechaun’s personal stash mixed up. An understandable mistake considering that both were labeled similarly, but nevertheless devastating to the team’s mission.
Insane Leprechaun, who had been moping in a corner, rather more subdued than usual, suddenly jumped upright.
“What about Yoko Ono?”
|Yikes, it's Yoko Ono! |
“Yeah,” said Nerdy Leprechaun slowly, “You shared a cell with her in the loony bin, didn’t you?”
Insane Leprechaun smiled proudly.
“That’s right,” added Hysterical leprechaun, “I mean, if she broke up four Beatles once, she can stop a wannabe now! It’s brilliant!”
So the three girls set off to the local asylum, broke Yoko out of her cell, and threw her through Fabulous Fabulo’s window. The plan worked like a charm. In fact, rather like Lucky Charms! They’re magically delicious!
It was a truly beautiful ceremony. Stray nukes were still flying over the church, illuminating the two evil people becoming one. Well, not literally of course. Anyways, the only unhappy faces were those of the Leprechauns while they were hauled off to jail for breaking several important cop
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