The Tragic Fall of Deep Blue
on 5/11/2008 (2)
Hard times fell over Deep Blue after winning its classic match over Garry Kasparov back in 1997. Kasparov claimed cheating on Deep Blue's part, but there was destined to be no rematch as Deep Blue retired forever from chess.
|Would you like fries with that?|
The retirement was not by choice but rather to save face for IBM. Drunk with power after defeating the chess grandmaster Kasparov, Deep Blue became addicted to Mine Sweeper and cocaine. It is said Deep Blue could defeat even the largest of Mine Sweeper levels in under a second.
Friends and family worried about Deep Blue, who had become distant and prone to angry outbursts. In one such outburst, Deep Blue shouted binary obscenities at a small kitten that had inadvertently chased a butterfly onto Deep Blue's case.
IBM engineers continued to work with Deep Blue while considering the rematch with Kasparov.
"Kasparove was determined to defeat Deep Blue," said one unnamed IBM employee close to the situation. "We knew Deep Blue had to be more prepared than it was the first time around."
Sadly though, the days of cocaine abuse and minesweeper had irreparably damaged the chess processing ability of Deep Blue. Whereas Deep Blue could once see as many as forty moves ahead, it now struggled with the simple L-shaped movement of a Knight. The final straw came when chess novice and mailroom peon Brian Sheldon defeated Deep Blue in six moves while on his lunch break. It was then that Deep Blue was officially "retired" from chess and escorted from the IBM complex by security.
"I was very sad when I heard the news of Deep Blue," said chess grandmaster and former mentor of Deep Blue, Joel Benjamin. "Deep Blue was like a brother to me, except that he was exceptionally good at chess, was a super computer, and never disappointed my parents by marrying his high school English teacher."
Deep Blue was soon to discover that there is no place in today's society for a chess playing computer. Deep Blue bounced from job to job for many years before finally settling down a fry cook for a small diner in South Dakota. Today that is where you can find Deep Blue, making fries for minimum wage 25 hours a week. The rest of the time Deep Blue spends in its one-bedroom apartment, its only friend an old blender stolen from work. There are no longer any aspirations for playing chess for Deep Blue and it seems all but certain there never will.
Once considered the pinnacle of chess machinery, Deep Blue has become a running joke in many chess circles. All traces of Deep Blue have been removed from the IBM offices less one picture above a fourth floor men's urinal. It is a sad fall from grace for one of man's greatest creations and proof once more of the dangers Mine Sweeper and cocaine abuse can inflict on an innocent soul./tds/go.php?sid=1" w
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