MIT Scientists Predict Man Will Go Number 3 By the Year 3000
on 6/26/2008 (1)
A recent study by MIT scientists reveals that within the next 1,000 years, in addition to number one (pee) and number two (poop), mankind will be capable of the much fabled number three.
|Yes, we've stooped to putting a picture of a man on a toilet on our page. |
"It's a natural evolution of the body's digestion system," said head scientist Leonard Walker. "Right now we've got ways to get rid of all the physical wastes in the body, but the future will be a purge of psychological wastes too."
If MIT scientists are correct, future man won't have to deal with hardships like death, heartbreak, or even the simple bad day. Today bad feelings have to be dealt with until they improve or, in more extreme cases, they need to be treated with therapy or heavy doses of medication. Future man will simply secrete a greenish-brown sludge and then happily go on with their day as if nothing ever happened.
"Future mankind will be a happy society not necessarily free of hardships but rather ignorant to them," said Walker. "And it's a good thing too because chance are, the seas will be rising, pollution will be overwhelming, and food supplies will be scarce."
In order to facilitate number three, man will have to grow a new body part to excrete it. Tentatively MIT scientists have been calling this new body party, which will be located just south of the anus, the Federline, after background dancer turned celebrity husband turned rapper turn celebrity ex-husband Kevin Federline.
Federline was reportedly very excited and felt this new body part naming was a good fit for him on account of his overwhelming douchiness."0" style0" style
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