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No one killed in Bancroft, West Virginia Today
by Kris on 7/20/2008 (0)

Recent photo of the Bancroft capital building.
Bancroft, West Virginia - It was a good day in the small town of Bancroft, West Virginia, today because all 367 residents made it through the day unscathed.

"It's always good when the people of Bancroft aren't killed," said Bancroft mayor William Hotpants. "One day last year someone died and it was very sad."

Common killers of people include cancer, heart disease, and O.J. Simpson, but none of these struck today.

"I'm alive and I feel great," said twenty-two year old Helen Thompson. "I figured I would still be alive and I was."

"I'm old and will be dead sooner rather than later," said seventy-five year old Gerald Whopper. "But I'm not dead today."

What tomorrow holds for Bancroft, no one can tell for sure, but its residents are hopeful of another day without deaths. Given that only one person had died in the last year, the chances certainly seem good. Though some might say the town is due for a deathone">


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