Software Piracy Leads to Full-Fledged Piracy
on 7/24/2008 (0)
England - Software piracy is just the beginning of a downward spiral that leads to full-fledged piracy said a recent study performed by the Oxford Medical Journal.
|Someone get this man a plank! |
The study was performed over a period of five years and chronicled the lives of one hundred self-admitted software pirates. The subjects were asked to keep journals of their lives and met monthly with scientists from Oxford.
Out of the one hundred people in the study, twenty five became seafaring pirates and ten went missing, possibly the victim of pirates or now pirates themselves.
"Software piracy is a gateway into real piracy," said Doctor Niles Headstove. "It gives a taste of the adventure and excitement that a live at sea, pillaging and plundering can afford. For many, the allure of true piracy is too much."
One such subject that turned to piracy was Billy Gene. Billy was a straight A student, president of the South England Society for Social Outcasts, and charter member of the "Mighty Boosh Fan Club". In 2005, Billy discovered he could download his favorite Mighty Boosh episodes with a Bit Torrent client. Soon after, his life became a blur of software, music, and video piracy. Yet it was not enough. In Billy's final journal entry, he wrote:
Ahoy, me can no longer li'e a simple li'e and ignore the fires that burn deep in my loins. Software piracy has shown me only the tip o' what true piracy can offer. Me belie'e that this is what I was destined t' do, sailin' the high seas, raidin' 'illages, and gettin' all the booty me can carry. This will be my last entry, as real pirates can neither read nor write. Aye. Last Billy was heard from, he was robbing a Carnival Cruise Lines ship in the Caribbean, a daring attack that lead several dead and many gold doubloons missing. His parents were reportedly "very disappointed" though his father did admit he was glad his boy was "no longer a sissy" and thought the eye patch made him look "kinda tough, like an overcooked steak".
This trend has happened more than in just this study. The number of software pirates that have become real pirates in the last five years had increased more than ten-fold.
|My, what a lovely collection of illegally downloaded software you have! |
"Back in the late-90's, it was exciting to illegally download things," said software pirate turned pirate Binary Beard. "Then all of a sudden everyone was downloading things and the legal system just couldn't keep up. The excitement of knowing that any minute you could receive a cease-and-desist letter was gone and so was the joy of software piracy. Thankfully the various world authorities still take real piracy very seriously."
"Aye, almost a quarter o' my crew be former software pirates," said pirate captain Drunk Dan. "Arrr, me have come t' prefer them t' others, as they be rather helpful when I have trouble openin' email attachments or creatin' a Power Point presentation t' increase ship moral. Gar."
As of now, no government action has been taken to curb this trend, though parent groups like "Don't Let our Kids Grow up to be Pirates" are pushing hard for legislative changes that will make the penalt
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