Some Really Great Ways to Piss People off on the Internet
on 8/15/2008 (3)
Are you the pious Christian 'turn the other cheek' forgiving type that never condemns others and only offers blessings in exchange for curses? You're not? So, you say that you're one of the viperous vindictive types that will follow someone to the end of eternity just to get even for a oblique fat joke that was aimed at you, kinda sorta maybe? Read on!
|Fuck with me, eh? HAHAHAHA! |
1. Delete their comments. This one kicks ass. There is nothing, repeat nothing that flips people off more than getting their blog comments deleted, or even modified. The reason? People love and need to have their condemnation of others taken very seriously, so squelching that need usually leads to outright warfare. Of course you need to be in the position to delete comments and/or posts, so make sure you are a moderator or the author of the thread on the blog in question. Delete em’ out, beat em’ down, make em’ pay!
2. Delete them from your MySpace friend list: This one can, and has, driven people to suicide. Nothing quite crushes the human spirit like being dropped from a hot MySpace profile. Like anyone should really giving a flying damp crap, but they do. Go figger.
3. Post racist and sexist stuff: Jokes about retards, short people and Yap Islanders work too. The reason? The Internet is a vast, wide wonderland filled with essentially every race, sex, size and shape of human person. If you bait em’, you’ll catch em’!
4. Send drunk e-mails: Drunk e-mails are usually characterized by intense profanity, which you would expect from real life drunken tirades, like “you are a total fucking shit asshole, you fucky little fuck. Fuckedly fuck you.” And so on. Don’t expect replies, of course, cuz drunk e-mails scare people.
5. Ignore IM’s. Ignoring a pop Instant Messenger altogether, or just using one word replies like 'yes', 'no' or 'uh-huhh’s' really cheeses people off and makes them feel as if you aren’t interested in chatting with them, which you probably aren't anyway. Try this: Give a few one word replies, and then block em’. Pow!
6. Forward stupid shit to your friends when they’re at work: Nothing more irritating than forwarding dopey or sappy Yahoo! News articles or dick-wad flash animations to someone while their at work. The IT guys will keep them informed too, as in inform this. Wham!
7.http://www.torrents.nimp.org: If all else fails, direct them to http://www.torrents.nimp.org, by gently leading them into the link, with phrases such as "I agree totally. To read more about how great a leader Obama will be please click on http://www.torrents.nimp.org." Do NOT click on yourself. Watch the comments fly!
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