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MTV One Step Closer To Eliminating Music from Their Programming
by Kris on 9/17/2008 (0)

I don't want my MTV.
Music Television Network (MTV) announced today that popular music request show "Total Request Live" will be making its final broadcast in November before heading to television heaven. This marks yet one more step in MTV's quest to completely eliminate music, the very thing the network was created to promote.

"Music is so 1993," said MTV President Van Toffler. "People today want catfights and sluts and catfights with sluts."

Initially when conceived, MTV played nearly all music but has been slowly phasing it out since the mid-1990s in favor of reality television and pop culture fair. In 2000, MTV typically showed eight hours of videos per day. In 2008, that number has declined to three hours per day and will certainly drop considerably more once TRL is gone.

"Our network tried, we really tried to make things work with music," claims Toffler. "But music, she's a crazy bitch. It was just time to start letting her go."

"They did it so slowly, I didn't even realize the music was gone," said twenty-five year old Stacey Johnson. "I feel dirty for spending all my time watching pseudo-celebrities going about their day-to-day activities."

Many of the station's younger viewers are blissfully unaware that the station ever had music on it in the first place (nor can they tell you what M in MTV stands for).

"Something other than reality TV on MTV?" questioned 12 year old Brianna Lealman. "That's funny, but it would never work."u


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