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Friday Mailbag 10.17.08 - Super Happy Spam Edition
by Kris on 10/17/2008 (0)

Several years later, I still haven't changed this picture.
Every Friday, Smooth Operator's very own Kris reaches deep into his mailbag and answers a very few special questions from a very view special people. This week, we'll be tackling spam emails that Kris has received. If you have any questions that you would like answered in a future mailbag (though not a mailbag from the future), email them to kris@smthop.com with the subject 'Hey jerk, answer my question!'

Q: This message might come to you as a supprised. I am Mrs Gift Clement from Solomon Island. I am married to Mr. Clement William from UK who worked in UK Embassy in GUINEE for nine years before he died in the year 2000.

Kris says: You're right, this message did supprised me. As did the fact that your last name is the same as your husband's first name. That must be some weird tradition in the Solomon Island, kinda like how some cultures believe that cameras steal your soul or that Carrot Top is funny. I wonder what other strange traditions they have in the Solomon Island. Is up down? Is right left? If you throw something into the air, does it get stuck? Is it legal to attack a man with a pogo stick if he's wearing sandals on a Tuesday? I'm so intrigued, I must go to this place.

Q: My name is Regina, i saw your profile today in my search for a reliable and good friend and became interested in you, i will also like to know you the more, and i want you to send an email to my email address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am. I believe we can move from here! (Remeber the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life)

Kris says: Regina, not only would I love to meet you and send you my picture but I would also like to give you my bank account number so that you may transfer many thousands of dollars to it. I will then use this money to fulfill my dream of buying a 1970 GMC van in which I will travel the nation solving crimes while maintaining a loving, long distance relationship with a woman of questionable grammar who is quite possibly a cyclops. My information is currently in route, I can't wait to hear back from you.

Q: Now you have the opportunity to save your time and money! With US based online p,h,a,r,m,a,cy store you can buy any meds you need! Forget about p/r/e/s/c/r/i/p/t/i/o/n/s and doctors. Now you save your time. Forget about high prices at local stores.

Kris says: There are three things that I don't have enough of... time, money, and nachos. But I've always felt like if I had more time and more money, I could use those to get more nachos. And I absolutely love the idea of an online p,h,a,r,m,a,cy store because there just aren't enough stores online these days that have commas in their name, regardless of what product they're selling. That must be difficult though, as you cannot use commas in a domain name. Would your pharmacy URL be something like pcommahcommaacommarcommamcommaacommacy.com? That seems a little complicated for a website address... perhaps something more like scam-meds.com or fake-pharmacy.com would be a better bet? Let me know when you get this setup, I'd love to do a link exchange with you. Imagine our two forces combined, Smthop.com and pcommahcommaacommarcommamcommaacommacy.com... it would be like a World Wide Web version of Voltron, only not only would we combine to for


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