Obama Win Bittersweet for Detroit Residents Hoping to Riot
on 11/5/2008 (19)
Detroit, MI - In a historic moment, yesterday Barack Obama was elected President of the United States by a sound margin and the streets of Detroit thusly remained quiet, much to the disappointment of many city residents.
|Just one of the many attractions of a full-scale riot. |
"I don't know what to say," said Detroit native Aaron Jones. "I was sure there would be some kind of Republican screw job or polling confusion that would lead to McCain winning and a massive riot ensuing."
The moment was bittersweet for Detroit residents longing for civil upheaval or just some good old fashioned violence. While many strongly supported the policies and promise of change that Obama hopes to bring to Washington, Detroit loves a good riot more than any other city.
Had a scenario happened that lead to McCain winning, Jones and many others like him were prepared for full fledged rioting the likes Detroit hadn't seen since the 1967 Detroit riots that killed 43, injured nearly 500 more, and caused over 2,000 buildings to be burnt to the ground.
"Tipping over dumpsters, lighting cars on fire, smashing storefront windows, urinating in public, punching the homeless... it would have been some real hardcore shit," Jones said of his post-election riot plans, plans that no doubt would have been acted out citywide.
In 2000, when polling confusion may have cost Al Gore the Presidency, Jones was arrested after setting several cars on fire and spent a week in jail. He was subsequently arrested for the same thing twice this past year, first after the Detroit Red Wings won the Stanley Cup in June and then again after the Detroit Shock won the WNBA title in October.
|Riot following the Red Wings championship season in 2008. |
Detroit residents need not worry too much though. It seems in all likelihood that the Detroit Lions will finish the NFL season winless, giving Detroit one more chance to riot this calendar year.
"As long as we get that third riot this year and four years of national prosperity, I guess I'm okay with it," admitted Jones.
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