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Starving Kid/Fat Kid Exchange Program
by Kris on 11/9/2008 (0)

The first step to weight loss... get sent to Africa!
Over 40,000 children die each year from malnutrition, starvation, and hunger-related diseases. The National Center for Health Statistics indicates that 15 percent of children in America ages 6 to 18 are overweight. As the age old proverb goes, it takes two problems to make a solution.

The Starving Kid/Fat Kid Exchange Program (SKFKX) borrows from the student exchange program, which sends students to different countries to study, learn new cultures, and secretly steal the country's nuclear secrets. In SKFKX, American parents of overweight children will send their children to countries like Angola, Malawi, and Zimbabwe where there is inadequate food to feed their populations. In return, American families will take in a malnutritioned foreigner who they will fatten up with sweets and deep-fried American fair. After several months, the Americans will get back a much thinner, healthier child and the foreign countries will receive back an overweight child on the verge of cardiac arrest.

"There's enough food for everyone in the world," says the creator of this program Daniel Cornstalk. "The problem is, some people are eating more than their share and leaving the rest of the world with scraps. SKFKX aims to even things out."

Traditional diets fail because they require a strong resolve to successfully complete and Americans are inherently lazy. Fat kid camps help but last only weeks or months and don't instill the kind of terror in children that the threat of being sent to a war-torn country with no food, running water, and an overabundance of disease does.

Programs to feed the starving fail because of the large number of fat American children that eat all the food that could otherwise feed the starving of the world.

Already there has been much success from SKFKX since being created in 2003. While several hundred American children have starved to death or died of disease and children sent to America have caused widespread outbreaks of Ebola, SARS, and the deadly Motaba virus, these have been more the exception than the rule.

"We tried everything to get our son to lose weight," says mother Nancy Fells, whose 12 year old son Albert once weighed slightly less than a pickup truck. "Then we sent him to Swaziland... when he came back, he weighed a much healthier 62 pounds. And because he's so afraid of going back, he doesn't eat at all anymore!" h="0"<0" hei


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