2010 Year in Review
on 12/11/2008 (0)
Way back in 2003, Smooth Operator become the first (and to date only) website to review 2009. The article's popularity rocketed Smooth Operator to the number one website ever and successfully convinced millions of people to move from the coasts of California to the deserts of Nevada to avoid a massive earthquake that may never happen (we'll know for sure in a year). With our cash supplies dwindling, we have decided to once again dip into the review pot and be the first (and only) website to review 2010!
Flying Cars Still Awesome
It's been two years and we can hardly imagine life without our flying cars. They're terrible on gas, prone to exploding, have no cup-holders, have killed more people than Ebola, may be responsible for the extinction of birds, and more often than not, you end up running into some other flying car because the massive amount of smog that they create prevents you from seeing anything until it is six inches from your face and the skies have become completely overcrowded with these vehicles. Despite all these drawbacks, they're still flying cars and we love them.
No More Lake Water
Thanks to an exclusive agreement with Pepsi, all lake water in the United States has been replaced with Pepsi. This has been both good and bad. On the good side, the pop water is delicious and it is easy to bottle your own pop for a minimal cost. On the downside, the massive amounts of sugar and caffeine have caused the fish in the lakes to go completely insane, double in size, and grow razor-sharp teeth. These fish attack anyone that dares enter the water... I mean pop. All public beaches have been closed as a precautionary measure but thankfully experts predict that the elevated sugar levels should cause all the fish to die shortly and thus humans will be able to return safely to the lakes once more.
Robot Vacuums Become Sentient
We all suspected it would eventually happen and 2010 was the year that it did. Those little robots that have been keeping your floors clean have finally begun to think on their own. While some might expect some sort of rebellion or at least a request for better wages, the robots have instead ironically taken to stealing from their owners, much like the housekeepers they replaced. And just like the housekeepers, many angry owners have begun deporting their vacuum robots back to Mexico.
First Successful Human Teleportation
Finally, man has been able to successfully take all the atoms of a person in one place and instantly zap them to another. The science behind the technology is no doubt really complicated, but consumers trust it will always work correctly and can't wait to get their own teleportation devices for home (coming to market in 2011). We must also pay homage to the over 4,000 people that either died, lost limbs, or became horrific mutations of their former selves in the first 4,000 unsuccessful human teleportations. You gave your arms, legs, and sometimes heads so that the rest of us could be even lazier than we already were.
World Embraces Global Warming
For years we tried to prevent it, tried to reduce our carbon emissions, tried to stop using Aqua Net hairspray. But with warmer than ever weather in 2010, citizens worldwide realized how great global warming really is. People in Michigan were sunbathing in January, people in North Dakota started growing palm trees, and people in Alaska went outside without seven layers of clothing. World leaders eventually decided to encourage the advancement of global warming. Sure the ice caps will probably mel
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