Smooth Operator Names Itself Website of the Year
on 1/7/2009 (0)
In a move that shocks few and angers many, self-proclaimed "Greatest Website Ever" Smooth Operator has named itself the website of the year for 2008. The Smooth Operator Website of the Year award is undisputedly the single most prestigious award ever given out to any website. It is so exclusive and hard to win that it has only ever been awarded to one website, Smooth Operator.
Smooth Operator posted 115 articles in the 2008 year, each of which drew critical acclaim and were viewed by billions of loyal visitors. Articles ranged from hard hitting pieces like The World is on Pace to Run out of Internet by 2010 and Peanut King Promises Death to Humanity to lighter fair such as Cornish Hen Named Most Annoying Poultry. Smooth Operator even took at stab at fixing the world when they proposed to shoot all the annoying people into space.
All year long, the writing was markedly brilliant, often drawing comparisons to such literary legends as Bill Shakespeare, Mark Twain, and Charles Schultz. Readers were often moved to tears, then inspired, then enraged, then forced to rethink their entire existence after reading articles on Smooth Operator.
North Dakota Yodeler literary critic James Peachhat said that Smooth Operator "makes all other writing look like cave paintings of tiny men attacking dinosaurs with spears by comparison" and subsequently retired from writing himself because of how inferior his writing was to that of Smooth Operator. Ten year old writing prodigy Ashley Mabel said that "Smooth Operator is everything I aspire to become". And well know food critic Jeremy Spain admitted that he would rather "read Smooth Operator than dine on the finest of dead whale covered in a glazed honey sauce then deep-fried and wrapped in bacon".
"I'd just like to thank Smooth Operator for recognizing how great we are," said Smooth Operator founder Kris Steele at a press conference accepting the award, and a large sum of money, earlier today. "I'd like to thank our fans too... it is because of their inadvertent clicks on are well placed advertisements that I am able to sit atop this giant pile of money and strike fear onto the villages below."
Smooth Operator hopes to build on the success of 2008 in the new calendar year by continuing to do the same thing that they have done for the past six years.
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