Are We Prepared for Y10K?
on 1/9/2009 (0)
Scary Shit - A recent study by the Bob Melon Institute for Studies has reveal what millions of Americans have fear since the Y2K disaster over nine years ago, the world is woefully prepared for Y10K.
Y2K indicated the year that the world when from 1999 to 2000. The issue here was that many programs had been created with only two digit years and thus they saw the year 2000 as 1900. This cause massive chaos as millions of people worldwide begin listening to big band music, having shootouts at noon outside of saloons, riding in horse-drawn carriages, and throwing spears at out of control robot dinosaurs.
Y10K will cause even more problems as the year goes from 9999 to 10000.
"Obviously we learned nothing from Y2K," said Bob Melon of the Bob Melon Institute for Studies. "If people had been really thinking we would have gone with more than four digits for a date less we repeat the same problems we had before multiplied by a thousand."
Melon and his followers, most of whom are under 5'7" tall and have an unnatural love for wiffle-ball, have proposed that we institute a six digit date format, thus saving the world from not only Y10K but also Y100K. They felt that going with seven digits would be unnecessary because the sun will likely go super nova by then and destroy us all. "No amount of digits can save us from that" notes Melon.
In the year 9999, there will likely be millions of trillions of computer programs, many of which will be inside our brains controlling our every thought and action. It would take an entire army of underpaid, underappreciated programmers working 40 hours a day nearly a thousand years to update all these programs to comply with Y10K standards. Switching today to a five digit format would take considerable work too, but not nearly what would be required six thousand years from now.
If we do not fix these days by the year 10000, the damage could be catastrophic. Dome cities will sink into the ocean, flying car fusion reactors will meltdown, zombies will demand better wages, rainforests will rise again, polar icecaps will reform, and Simpson’s episodes will be funny again.
"Y10K is nothing to joke about," says well respected historian Dr. Daniel Barns, formerly of MIT but now working in the gift shop that the Nebraska Museum of Corn. "There will be massive computer failures, robots attacking humanity, vampires coming out in the daylight, dogs shaving their butts and walking backwards. One can only imagine and widely speculate on the full extent of the consequences, but we know certainly they will be grave, swiftly, and unyielding."
The one silver lining to Y10K is that even if nothing is done, most of us will probably be dead by the time Y10K ever occurs, thus saving us from experiencing perhaps the greatest disaster in human history since the movie Glitter.
Unless you happen to believe in reincarnation. In that case, prepare yourself to be royally fucked 7,991 years from now.
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