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Thumb Wrestling Experiences Resurgence Due to Economic Downturn
by Kris on 1/28/2009 (5)

One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!
Little Timmy hoped to get a bike or a video game or even a new action figure for Christmas. Instead, he got knowledge passed down through the ages, the knowledge of thumb wrestling.

Thumb wrestling, commonly referred to as the "Sport of Kings", involves two combatants, called "Gladiators Supreme Extraordinaire" in a bitter struggle to pin each other's respective thumb (this act is often referred to as a "sound thrashing"). Glory goes to the winner, shame (and possibly a titty-twister) goes to the loser. Bouts are most often done in best of three format though a best of five or best of seven is not unheard of.

"Times are tough," said Timmy's Dad. "I lost my job and have been unable to find new work. We couldn't afford anything nice for Christmas, but we didn't want our son to get nothing."

Like the Timmies, thousands of families this Christmas season experienced the bitter fruits of a failing economy and were forced to be much more creative in their gift giving process. Other popular gifts included paper bags, catchy jingles ("plop plop fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is!"), and promises of a brighter tomorrow (or at least a tomorrow that doesn't involve moving into a storage space due to a home foreclosure).

Since Christmas, new thumb wrestlers have outnumbered new video game sales nearly 3 to 1. It estimated that ratio could reach as high as 9 to 4 by the end of February. This marks the first time since the apex of thumb wresting in 1976 that the movement has experienced growth.

"While it is a sad day for many Americans, it is a great day for our sport," said United Thumb Wrestling champion Gary Fists. "This financial debacle has exposed a whole new group of children to our sport. With growth like we have seen in recent months and such a large youth base, it's not a stretch to think that thumb wrestling could one day be as popular in America as minor league soccer." isplay:none">Share

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1. by I AM THE LIZARD KING on 1/28/2009 1:10:07 PM
I AM A LIZARD AND HAVE NO THUMBS! HA HA HA!h="0" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Kris on 1/30/2009 7:30:02 AM
You also have no dignity."0" style= </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
3. by Motz on 1/30/2009 9:07:07 AM
Where's nigga decapitator? These guys GOTTA meet. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
4. by Kris on 1/30/2009 10:44:12 AM
I've deleted a ton of comments from that guy, and blocked a few of his ever changing IP addresses.< </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
5. by MOtz on 1/30/2009 2:04:21 PM
Why? I support the man's efforts. A page hit is a page hit, and that guys gotta be number one, you know.<i </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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