Dell to Offer Online Customizable Baby Sales
on 3/3/2009 (0)
Dell made its name selling customized computers online but with 2009 PC sales projected to be grim, Dell will be bringing its business model to a new market, user customizable babies.
Want a baby with blonde hair and brown eyes? How about a boy with black hair and green eyes. Or maybe go wild and get a three armed girl with purple hair that breathes fire? What was once could be a hassle can now be done from any computer with Internet access. From the comfort of their own home, prospective parents will be able to customize nearly ever aspect of their child to be through an easy to use web interface or choose from a dozen pre-made child templates.
After submitting an order, Dell's in-house fertility clinic/genetic lab will start right away creating your child through an elaborate sequence of mixing tubes of liquid, bright flashing lights, turning gears, and bolts of lightning. Upon completion, the fully alive and functional baby will be mailed to the excited parents.
This new service has sparked debate within the global medical community, raising huge questions about limits of online purchasing.
"Today I can buy a baby online, where does it end?" questioned Geoff Hammer, medical community member. "Next thing you know, we'll be buying airline tickets and computer hardware. We must put an end to the madness before it consumes us all!"
While pricing for this service not been formally released, due to the low overhead of running an online business, it is speculated that Dell will be able to offer babies at prices well below those of your typical baby retailers.
Preorders are currently being taken on Dell's website. It is expected the initial batch of babies will begin cooking sometime this summer.
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