Clay Aiken Tops List That Truly Straight Guys Would Like To Kick The Crap Out Of
on 6/13/2009 (23)
|It's no more tolerance time! |
(AP) For the third straight year, American Idol runner up Clay Aiken tops "America's list of prissy guys that straight men would like to kick the flying steaming craps out of", according to New York fire fighter Emmanuel "Manny" Salupo.
"I'd likes to corner that girly-fuck Clay 'My ass is Aiken' and tattoo his silly little cashew-lips with a roundhouse right and follow up with a lightning left cross. I'm so sick of this tolerance crap..." Belted Salupo between bellowing blasts of breath "...then I'd just stand over the fairy fuck and says to him how's it feels to be my PERSONAL American Idol bitch while he moaned and moaned and begged for Jesus and just laugh and laugh and laugh."
Other notables on Salupo's wish list include other American Idol contestants Adam Lambert and David Archuleta, all three Jonas Brothers, Sacha Baron Cohen, Mika, Wayne Brady, Spike Feresten, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Josh Groban, Nigel Lythgoe, Hugh Laurie, Bobby Lee, Lance Bass, Neil Patrick Harris and Conan O'Brien.
"I'd love to slap some man-sense into that little dyke bag-of-dicks Lindsay Lohan, too, uh-huh, chick or not, I've had it with all these queasy freaks, and it's clobberin' time in da' Bronx, fellas, Yeeahh!"
None of Salupo's colleagues expect him to make good on his rants, but most sympathize, citing "sometimes it quacks like a duck and it's a duck, but other times it's just a really agitating noisy-ass goose that you just can't help but slapping the fucking corn out of its mouth, for real."
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