Civil War Reenactor Pissed That He hasn't Had A Chance To Really Kill Somebody
on 7/25/2009 (2)
POSSUM HOLLAR, KY - Possum Hollar Confederate Civil War reenactor Ricky Bud Zolicoffer recently vented his disdain at "not being able to really kill a damn Yankee" at the local annual reenacting event this July. Zolicoffer explains:
"Shucks, we go through all this dang' trouble to make sure our uniforms are period accurate, and drill and train jess' like the real troops done back then. I even carry hardtack biscuits, salt pork and coffee in this here tin too...I mean I'm true to the faith, but somethin' is always missin' every year. We line up, Sarge sounds the bugle charge, cannons afire, and off we go, Rebel Yell, muskets a' blazin', and have to stop dead in our tracks when we hit the Yankee line, shake hands and turn around and go home. Jess' once, I'd like to kill me a dang' Yankee for real! What I'm meanin' is, imagine football without any tackles...that would be like a sissy sport, right?...jess' like soccer...holy 9 pound 7 ounce baby Jesus Gosh Dang!!"
Artimus "Arty" Twain, Possum Hollar reenactor event organizer, laughed off Zolicoffers laments, citing "The only killing going on at these here "battles" is the pizza, beer and buckets of KFC the troops call in on their cell phones after dark."
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