Crazy Judge Bangs Gavel
on 4/9/2010 (1)
Boston, Texas - Confusion reined supreme today in a small Boston courthouse as well-respected Judge Gary Racquet dismissed his usual even-keel behavior and donned the suit of a crazy lunatic.
"Motion dismissed!" Bang, bang, bang!
"Guilty as charged!" Bang, bang, bang!
"There are bees in my hair!" Bang, bang, bang!
"It's not a tumor!" Bang, bang, bang!
Shortly after noon in a day that saw the sentencing of a jaywalker to plow fields, a tax evader sent to the electric chair, and the dismissing of parking fines for anyone able to balance on one foot and hum the National Anthem, Judge Racquet was forcibly subdued and taken to a local hospital to assess his condition. The final straw came when he begin banging his gavel on the knees of a suspected pot dealer while asking if he "looked pretty".
"We're not really sure what was wrong with him," said Bailiff John Hart. "He just kept yelling and banging his gavel, almost nothing he said all day made any sense."
Despite a morning of strange behavior, court cases proceeded as usual with no one quite sure what to do. Several people in the courthouse reportedly feared for their lives. One man leapt from the second story courthouse window and sustained minor injuries.
The Fox Network has already sent representatives to Boston in hopes of developing a television series staring Judge Racquet as a lunatic Judged forced to team with a divorced housewife who together must travel the country solving crimes. This show would be the cornerstone of Fox's 2010 fall lineup.
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