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Nestle Announces 5 More Pasty Tasting White Cracker Dough Crust Hot Pocket Flavors
by Mark on 11/12/2010 (0)

The Nestle, Switzerland, Corporation has unveiled plans for 5 more of those bland, pasty tasting white cracker dough crust Hot Pockets to add to the boring burgeoning 50 or so already in the market lineup. Nestle spokeswoman Wilma Whitehouse elaborates:

“We’ve added a dessert creme brulee vanilla nutmeg custard, green and red pepper cilantro vegan cubed tofutti, crisp bean sprout and teryaki turkey oriental, brandy seared roast pork au jouse and garlic lamb lemon greek, all wrapped in a light and flaky crust that you all love. Folks can’t seem to get enough of our famous savory fillings and custom crispy crusts, so these are guaranteed to please!”

Hot Pockets semi-enthusiast Busty Russell curtly offered, however, “Hey, you get two for two bucks, so what if they taste like gluey warmed cardboard? The only one I can actually taste is the barbequed beef, and it ain't the beef, it's the barbeque!"

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