A better Superman
on 7/15/2003 (3)
For years America has long had a love affair with one blue spandexed hero named Superman. His tales of rescuing damsels in distress, most notably Lois Lane, and thwarting criminal masterminds like Lex Luther have become the thing of legends. This formula has had little change since it's inception nearly four thousand years ago. Many people have begun to find the typical Superman adventures to be bland and predictable. That is why I have taken the liberty of making a few suggestions in order to revive the Superman franchise and propel it into a realm of popularity that I could only imagine to someday reach myself.
|Superman is good... but he could be better. |
Space age polymer - In this day and age, nothing is cooler than things made out of space age polymers. In fact, anything space age is great by itself, and when it's a polymer, it's just that much better. I suggest that Superman should now be made out of this material. Besides making the idea of Superman that much cooler, the space age polymer will decrease Superman's overall weight, thus allowing him to leap even taller buildings in a single bound, the type of buildings that took the traditional Superman two to three leaps to clear.
Make Superman a Ninja - Ninjas are all the rage these days. You practically can't cross the street without running into five or six ninjas and having to fight off two or three more. Shows depicting Ninjas are all over television and radio these days. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Happy Fun Ninja Hour, and Ninja! are just a few of the shows that one can see on a regular basis, and this isn't even mentioning special series such as Married to a Ninja and Joe Ninja. Ninjas are cool because they can do crazy fighting action, have special ninja weapons, and are excellent cooks. These three traits alone would make Superman all the cooler. Coupled with other Ninja specialties such as a cool Ninja suit, ability to scale walls, and an keen ability to thwart the world domination plans of Shredder would make Superman the greatest hero of all time.
Segway Human Transporter - Nothing is more cutting edge these days than the innovative Segway Human Transporter, or Segway HT, as I like to call it. It uses patented technologies to do really cool things that I can not possibly comprehend nor dare to try and explain. If Superman used one of these, everyone would respect him for being a super-cool tech geek. And Superman could finally ditch that whole flying bit too, which is about as believable as Milli Vanilli fighting off a gang of radioactive mutant sharks using only their impressive singing talents.
|Superman's new wheels. |
More Robots - Superman has fought countless villains over the years, but none are more threatening than Robots, the most terrible creation ever created by man or ghost or cable television. These Robots should be seven stories tall, breath fire, and shoot missiles out of their asses. They would enslave the entire population of Metropolis, forcing them to endlessly labor to create piles of energy cubes that no one really knows what to do with. Superman will feud with these Robots for many years until a final climactic battle on t
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