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Overpopulated Japan to rid Island of Monsters
by Mark on 8/4/2003 (2)

Alas sweet Gamera, we hardly knew yee.
Japanese Prime Minister Yushiro Mori has announced a planned expulsion of monsters and animated characters from its overpopulated islands.

"We have an over abundance of monsters on our small island. Godzilla, Mothra and Megalon are costing us 100 billion Yen annually just to clean up mess they make! Godzilla eat 10 ton of squid daily, so you can just imagine! Gamera got to go too! He big stupid turtle, just sit and block traffic! Hai!"

Japan also plans to expunge its most popular 'anime', or animated characters as well.

"Speed Racer, Pokemen, Doraemon, Sazae-San and Crayon shin-Chan all must go! There are over 150 specialized Pokemen alone, clogging drain sewers and fouling water supply! We have 250 converted snowplows for Pokeman removal alone!"

"And transformers too! They hide in alley disguised as bus, old lady walk by, then HAI!"

Mori rifled through a scattered collection of monster pictures, some of them with a 'most wanted' stamp on them.

"We willing to sell to highest bidder. Michael Jackson have high bid for Godzilla at Wonderland Ranch, and Bill Gates want Gamera as hood ornament. We want to sell Pokemen as complete set, so no individual pricing!"

Yushiro nibbled a piece of Surimi, a fish paste product.

"We now make monster crab flakes too! Taste just like crab at half the price and all the protein!"

When asked if the Japanese fascination with monsters is a post World War 2 phenomena rising from the terrible destruction wrought on the islands by American Air forces, and the mutating effects of the Atomic bomb, Mori, bowing his head, lamented:

"Hai....yes. Great despair often lead to fantasy. Just like American fascination with super heros after 9-11. If terrorist attacks continue, America will soon be overpopulated with monsters too!"

Returning to business, Mori smiled:

"...Speak of fantasy, I offer you not quite so unused Ultraman suit, 50 percent off, batteries not included!"isplay:none">

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1. by feaglin on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
In a time of despair, we like to think about people whose cities are being torn to shreds and used as toothpicks thereafter, by hidious and mountainously enormous creatures who find their origin in the deepest and vilest crevices of the human imagination, and we feel better. Does this make us bad people? Yes, because the world is overpopulated as it is! WHERE IS THE JAPANESE SOCIAL SENSE!? introducing new and never before seen monstrocities into the world to wreck havoc on the economy and slay our children!!!! I say nay to this, treble nay! The US threw a bomb once, and they did it again, and even though the world politics will not respond in favor of such an act of aggression I'm sure there's a button waiting to be pressed somewhere! And if the Japanese aren't crowding the world with monsters, they are hoarding the world up in their photo-albums and digital storages waiting to be shown to their children and children's children, though forgetting the kind local who so generously agreed to press a button while urging the tight faced Japanese men and women to smile in front of the camera! I like sushi... with lots of that green stuff that nearly gives you a headache, clears your airways then leaves you in tears and craving for more... wasabi<i </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Mark Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
well thanks, Feaglin, I didn't think anyone would focus on that part of the article. Japan is ready to shed its monsters, while we have a few of our own in Genesis.? </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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