Al-Qaeda targeting Amish Community
on 8/11/2003 (4)
In a spectacular change of tactics, Al-Qaeda terrorist cells have reportedly begun hitting strategic targets in the Holmes county, Ohio Amish district according to Mennonite minister brother Hezekiah Weems. Weems describes the destruction:
"Thouest agents of evil have blown up the Yoder covered bridge fording Tinkler's creek near the Town Square. The loss of the bridge has caused great consternation to the Stroh's family, who must now walk their horses and buggy and cross 50 feet upstream at Tinklers bank."
Other abominable acts of heartless terror have reportedly been directed at the heart of Ohio's Mennonite district.
"The corn did not produce well this year, and too much rain has brought the blight to the melon patch. Brother Pfister had 3 cows tipped this July, and a pitchfork, of highest stout quality, was stolen from a haystack, all on a moonlit night. The Middlefield Swiss Cheese factory was violated as well, as the last three batches of cheese were of the poorest quality."
When shown pictures of the Yoder bridge, which was not blown up at all, but merely had a broken planking, and suggested that the other "terrorist" acts were perpetrated by youthful pranksters or mere happenstance and not Al-Qadea operatives, Weems nervously tipped his hat and fingered his graying beard:
"W-we are God's chosen people. We have never hurt anyone. Who else but a great evil like Al-Qadea could be responsible?!"
Reminded that radical Islamists believe that they have God on their side as well, Weems looked twice over his shoulder, leaned forward, and gingerly touched an index finger to his pursed lips:
"That's easy for YOU to say! Mrs. Trumble became pregnant with triplets on 9-11 whilst her husband Joshua was away barn raising. Keep in mind I have to LIVE with these people!"n.ru/
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