The World according to Lothar
on 12/16/2003 (5)
In response to overwhelming reader demand, I'd like to introduce a dear friend of mine to Smooth Operator, Lothar Von Rasmussen.
Hello, my dear friends. My name is Lothar Von Rasmussen. I am a free thinking neo-Kantist, a BMW motorcycle racing enthusiast, Dominican cigar affeciando, and connoisseur of Swedish women and French brandy, bidding salutations from Zurich, Switzerland, the cradle of refined taste and invention.
Season's greetings to my dear friends and fans in the States.
I must shamefully confess, I have not spent a great deal of time or thought on what I wish to say, but, perhaps, I may offer a tale of terrible tragedy, its subsequent triumphant resolution, and shocking ironic conclusion, as a form of burnt offering in return.
This is a tale, (true?), of two Latvian "Siamese" twins, Zelda and Lola, whose lifelong wish was of being separated. Indeed, Their wish would be granted, but not without consequence.
In a shocking turnabout, 32 year old, adult conjoined Latvian twins, separated at the head by a University of Michigan surgeon last year, have asked to be rejoined. The twins, identified as Lola and Zelda, have asked Dr. Son jay Patel to reconnect their skulls once more.
The story was one of seeming great human tragedy, and then unexpected triumph, as Dr. Patel, upon hearing of the twins plight, offered to separate the twins for free. The twins were flown to Michigan last June, where the surgery was an impeccable success.
Lola explains her seemingly bizarre decision:
"We cannot function emotionally without each other. We both slipped into horrible depression, and became suicidal when we were apart."
"Ja, We would lie down next to each other, our heads touching, and our fears would dispel...all was well again."
Dr. Patel has not made a firm decision, either on the technical or moral implications of rejoining the twins, although; if the mental health of both is indeed in jeopardy, he will probably comply with their wishes.
The moral is, sit back, have a sip of gently warmed Cognac and a smooth smoke of your favorite choice. Think of your greatest, most passionate hearts desire...
Now, use all the powers of your imagination to conjure the consequences if your wish is granted.
As wise men often say, be careful what you wish for, it might come true...
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