Marijuana users condemn Atkins diet
on 1/15/2004 (5)
In a sweeping partisan effort, scores of marijuana users have decried the so called "benefits" of the Atkins diet.
|Carbs: All four corners on the munchee pyramid. |
Marijuana advocate Keith "Peach" Donato, clutching a giant bowl of luke warm cereal like a 16 pound pro-leauge bowling ball, explains:
"Naaaahhh!!!...There's no way to eliminate carbs from a reefer diet,man!"
Slurping down a mouthfull of soggy frosted flakes, Peach added:
"Carbs are all four corners on the munchee pyramid!"
Lustily drawing from a roasty bowl of Maui Gold, Pot Partner Mary Jane McGivvins wistfully added:
"Naaaaahhh!!!...My basic diet is one of honey coated bear claws and maple donuts, baklava with walnuts, and chocolate covered custard coffee desserts."
Exhaling deeply, Mary Jane postulated:
"Just TRY and get the same level of satisfaction from the Atkins prescribed 3 ounce portion of roasted turkey!"
Munching a handfull of carb-laden honey roasted peanuts, stoney eyed Gange' advocate Bob Stein glossily contemplated:
"Can't imagine Gange' without carbs."
Handily rustling a thirsty mouthfull of redskins, Stein rambled:
"Naaaaahhh!!!...Must be a damn conspirancy by the protein co-alition!"
Spattering a toothy husk aside, Stein continued:
"Carbs encompass Cinnabon, Quarter pounders with cheese and Chimichangas.
I've got a hankering and it ain't got protein in the equation!"
Most nutritionists concurr: Federal food administration ombudsman Carmen Miranda La Hoya Del la Cruz de la Cardinale quips:
"Ay Carrrramba!!! Eet eez all a question of moderation...and az far az thee munchees go,moderation eez sort of a meestery!"
Hippy haired former Attorney General C.Everett Koop could not be reached for comment.ispla0" style="display:no
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