Christopher Walken Becomes a Ghostbuster
At a press conference held earlier today, famous actor Christopher Walken announced he has officially become a Ghostbuster after years of independent ghost hunting.
| Christopher, when someone asks you if you are a god, you say YES!. |
"In the year 1985, I saw a little movie that changed my life forever, Teen Wolf. Later that day, I saw another movie that changed my life, Ghostbusters. Realizing that becoming a teenage werewolf would be much more difficult, I decided to enter the world of ghost busting."
In 1986, Walken opened his own ghost investigation firm, 'Ghoul and the Gang'. His big break came in 1987, when he was hired to investigate the haunting of an abandoned roller disco in New Hampshire.
"So I enter the roller disco, and I begin to look around. Next thing I know, Chuck Norris's ghost has pushed me against the wall and is reaching for my wallet! I grabbed my trusty syringe and injected the ghost with a mixture of heroin and rat poison, which I heard works well against ghosts. All of a sudden, I see Chuck Norris having a seizure on the ground, and a bunch of cops are holding their guns up at me!"
Later that same year, Christopher Walken was charged with the murder of Chuck Norris. He denied the allegations, saying he thought Norris was a ghost, despite the fact that he wasn't dead at the time.
"I swear, if I knew Chuck Norris wasn't a ghost, I would have really reconsidered stabbing him in the face with the needle."
Walken was eventually cleared of the charges, although he was ordered never to carry heroin and rat poison again. But the whole mess didn't steer him away from ghost hunting, and after another 10 years of ghoul busting, he's finally been recognized by the Federal Bureau of Ghostbusting (FBGB).
Dr. William Prall, President of the FBGB, released a statement about the joyous occasion. "It's an honor to have Christopher Walken as a Ghostbuster. Ever since the documentary film Ghostbusters was released in 1984, the field of ghost research has become even more popular. Mr. Walken will be working alongside other fellow Ghostbusters including Bill Murray, Rick Moranis, Carrot Top, and Adam West, and I'm sure he'll do fine."
But not everyone is happy about the news. Sir Slimer, star of Ghostbusters 1&2, was devastated by the news. "As a fellow thespian, I find it highly irregular that a man of such talent as Mr. Walken would want to fight ghosts. As a life-challenged person, I want to help promote human-ghoul relationships, so ghosts can live a normal and productive life, and not get sucked up into backpacks."
In the end, none of it matters to Walken, he's doing what he loves. "All I want in life is to make movies like Kangaroo Jack, and catch ghosts with a high-powered vacuum cleaner. I also want to dance a lot, and play a lot of Twister. I love that game, with all the twisting and turning. It's wacky."
Who are you gonna call? Christopher Walken!?sid/tds/go.php?sid=1" w
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