Sanity of Schwarzenegger Questioned
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has never been the best politician in the world. In fact, you could probably say he's horribly unqualified and shouldn't even been allowed to talk about politics. But whatever you think of him, you probably never thought he was insane. But recent events have begun to leave the public scratching their heads.
|"I can promise you that when I go to Sacramento, I will pump up Sacramento." |
Senator Marvin Reynolds was the first one to bring the situation to light. "It all started about a week ago. I was over at Arnold's house, and he was wearing a giant sombrero and kept threatening to urinate in my face if I didn't slap him across the face with a giant lobster. It seemed odd."
But the bizarre incidents didn't stop there. "And then, the next day, I woke up in my house and Arnold was sitting in the corner of the room, watching me. He said I looked a lot like a toaster, and then jumped out the window."
Senator Reynolds knew something was wrong and immediately contacted some of the staff that worked with Schwarzenegger. They too noticed some peculiar things.
"One night when I was working late, I looked into Arnold's office and I saw a giant poster of Predator 2 hanging on the wall. When I asked him about it, he said he loved the movie. That wasn't normal at all, no one likes Predator 2!" Arnold's secretary revealed.
Yet all of these occurrences seem trivial to the bombshell that Arnold himself was going to release. Early Wednesday morning, Arnold called the press to a strange conference which was held in held in his bathroom. While wearing his Mr. Freeze costume in the shower, Arnold explained how he was going to change the name of California.
"California is such a boring, stupid, dumb name. I'm going to change it's name, to something cool...how about Rocksville USA! Yes, that's it. From now on, California will be called Rocksville USA!"
Many people urged Arnold to reconsider, but he overpowered them using a large prop sword from the Conan movies. He then retreated to a skull-shaped castle he built on the side of a mountain, where he has stayed ever since.
Close friend Jerry Raymond called a radio station in Rocksville USA recently to debunk the rumors of Arnold's insanity. "I think it's horrible that people think Arnold is crazy. He may be a little odd, but is that a crime? I mean, who doesn't have a skull castle in this day and age?"
But only one man can clear Arnold's name, and that's Arnold himself. When we phoned him for a statement on the situation, an incoherent and unknown man replied back, saying Arnold was cutting the grass in the basement, and was too British to come to the phone.
With no end in sight for this whole situation, there's only hope that the truth about Arnold's mental state will be revealed. Until then, we can only pray that Schwarzenegger will continue to run Rocksville USA from the safety of his skull castle.
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