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Keys missing for 17 years found in couch
by Kris on 4/6/2004 (11)

A 1975 AMC Gremlin, arguably the single greatest car ever.
The keys for a red 1975 AMC Gremlin, missing since 1987, have been found wedged between the cushions of their owner's couch.

"I thought I'd never find them," said their owner, Steve Johnson. "I looked everywhere."

The keys had been in the couch for years and had become encrusted in various crumbs of food, remains of candy, spilled pop, and what appears to be pig's blood. Authorities were only able to identify the keys by the large Rainbow Brite key chain that accompanied them.

"Rainbow Brite hasn't been around for years, much to my dismay," commented one officer on the scene. "We instantly knew that this set of keys was from a better time when peace, harmony, wild hair, and ninja turtles reined supreme."

The police were following a tip that Mr. Johnson had hidden thirty pounds of heroine under the cushions of his couch when they located the missing keys.

"We received a call late last night that a big drug deal was about to go down and the drugs here being held in the home of Mr. Johnson," says local police chief Defacto Policeman. "When we arrived though, all we found, much to the delight of Mr. Johnson, were the keys he had been missing for years."

"I'm really happy I finally have my keys back," commented Steve. "It's also a good thing I was able to move that heroine a day early."

The keys belong to a red 1975 AMC Gremlin that has been parked illegally across two handicapped spaces for the past 17 years.

"I couldn't find my keys when I left home, so I had to take my spare set," claims Johnson. "Then I lost those in an unfortunate slurpee accident while at the gas station."

After losing the spare set, Steve had no way of moving his vehicle from its location. The Gremlin has remained there since, and has become somewhat of a local tourist attraction.

"People come here each morning to watch the police ticket the car for double parking and parking in a handicapped space," says one Gremlin fan. To date, the red 1975 Gremlin, affectionately known as "The Ticket Master", has amassed well over $50,000 in parking fines, all of which will have to be paid before Steve can renew the license on the car.

"I'm not too worried about the tickets," says Steve. "I recently came into a lot of money, it shouldn't be a problem to get them all paid for."

While many are happy that Steve has finally located his keys, there is also a sense of sadness in the community that has grown to love that little red car.

"I spent my first five years on the force ticketing his Gremlin," says Officer Travis Smith. "While I am happy for Mr. Johnson, it will be sad to see the car go. Not just for me, but for the whole community. Kids grew up with that car, teenagers threw rocks at that car, and old people cursed at it for taking up the two closest parking spots. That little red Gremlin has become a symbol of everything that is great in this nation, everything that America stands for. This is truly a bittersweet moment."

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1. by feaglin on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
d1d Yu0 kn0w : that the word 'Gremlins' was invented by German bomber pilots in WW2 because there were strange things going on in the sky. There were apparently 'creatures' living in the air who were sabotaging their crafts. Do not think these were allied 'creatures', the Allied bomber pilots too met them, they called them 'Foo-fighters', and these did the same to their planes. What are these mysterious beings that live in our skies? In my (feaglin's) circles these creatures are known as Sylphs. They are sentient beings that live in the sky (like humans on earth) and they are undisputed masters of their realm. They cannot easily be seen because they can be both EXTREMELY big and very small (and everything in between), and they have an energy that is too high for us (they exist on a somewhat higher frequenty). Why they sabotaged the planes? Because innocent people where dying. Germans bombing London, many dead civilians, Allies bombing the crap out of Dresden (more dead civilians). Sylphs are our friends, although they is war being waged upon them by the secret government dumping toxins and nuclear waste in the sky. So far, the gov has been chanceless and the Sylphs still reign supreme. They are our allies in the war against the Dark Forces. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Interesting stuff... damn gremlins... I'll always remember the Twilight Zone movie were there is a Gremlin on the wing of the plane, but Jon Lithgow is the only one who sees it... "There's something on the wing!" he screams... I did that on the plane to Florida years ago, my friend just looked at me like I was crazy, which is debaitable."0" style=" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
3. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
They like me, they really like me! This is off of Madville, but I figured it's a positive comment about my story... how often does that happen? Last count, that would be twice! Very good article, funny stuff! I'll have to get the cops to come check out some of my furniture. (I'm afraid of what I'll find if I do it myself)isplay:n </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
4. by Mel S. on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
My favourite Gremlin is Gizmo. It's a good thing those keys were found. A national crisis has been avoide </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
5. by King Awesomealot on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
i like how they put this on as if it were a true story </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
6. by Kirk on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Anyone who owned a Gremlin and then lost the keys to it for 17 years, on that type of key chain. Should have been dealing in heroine. If nothing else to pay for a better car! </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
7. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
It is a true story. Just like everything else on this site :) </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
8. by Son Of The Sun on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Truly stupid! Only in America!"0" s </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
9. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Well obviously, what Country in their right mind would allow Gremlins to be exported to them?!? src </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
10. by Brit on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Only in America...word of advice clean under your seat cushions dirt bagsn. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
11. by Zam on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
It comes with passing that certainly happy endings are not anachronistic even in the new so-called: Millennia. I truly hope this one is not an urban myth...only suspicious by the nature of the tale. I would have thought the Gremlin would have been towed away long before the $50,000 dollar fine cache termed. If it weren't a true story, then it would be one of those Ashton Kutcher/Brittany Murphy wild scenarios that writers love to exploit. The red 1975 AMC Gremlin, though alternately reviled and loved accordingly, must have had something to do with its almost comedic, albiet sad fate. Gremlins, fictitious creatures or AMC rolling stock, always came with a dab of unpredictability. If I were one of the neighbors I would purchase the car and have it installed at the local playground...better yet, at the Orlando, Florida museum: Ripley's Believe It, or Not. Priceless. Worth a late night-campfire-marshmallow roast, telling. I know I'm using it as an ice-breaker. (With your permission) </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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