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That very special bond
by Mark on 6/9/2004 (0)

Of bonds and men.
The man-dog bond is reported to be the strongest emotional bond in nature...but whattabout these?

Waitress-tip bond: Just like Ivana Trump has a natural roaming eye for diamonds and real estate, waitresses have an eye for loose change. A mysterious, ethereal connection exists between nickles, dimes and quarters and Denny's girls everywhere. Not even a humble penny can escape the fabric of the waitress-dime continuum. Strippers seem to have this same bond as well.

Geek-computer bond: Trying to seperate a geek from his PC is like trying to get truly free online access out of AOL. Of course, more and more Americans are slowly becoming 'Geeks', thanks to the Internet, so this will prove to be a growing population worldwide. A deep bond, perhaps deeper than the parental , characterizes a Geek's affection for computers. The Supreme court may someday make marriage to a PC a reality in the new future, making Microsoft operating system and marriage system license dealers as well.

Housemom-morning television bond: This one's been around since I love Lucy. Stuck at home with the kids, house fraus are starved for stimuli, and have relied on TV since it's invention. Thankfully (?), more and more hot, live-wire media has entered the morning arena since Leave it to Beaver, like Jerry Springer, Maury Povich and the various adversarial 'Justice' judge shows like Judy, Joe and Hatchett. Trying to take a TV away from a house mom can result in withdrawal symptoms similiar to drug addiction. More and more house moms are falling prey to the Geek-computer syndrome recently, creating a media battleground as Fox and AOL Time-Warner scamper to divvy up the residential spoils.

Teenager-portable CD player bond: Now that you can take digital music with you, how can you possibly leave it behind? Fact is, most kids can't, much to the chagrin of educators and delight of music industry moguls nationwide. It is absolute fact, that since the invention of the portable CD player, teenage theft of batteries, headphones and CD's has been on the rise. I think they should put warning stickers on CD's like, 'crossing the street with headphones on can be hazardous to your health'. I'll bet John Lennon, -or Vladimir Lenin, would never have thunk it possible.


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