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Talking elevator causes woman to leap to her death
by Kris on 6/22/2004 (1)

Who falls out of a building? Honestly.
Paramedics arrived on the scene moments too late to save a 29-year-old woman who smashed out a glass window of the elevator she was riding in and leapt 54 stories to her death.

Margaret Smith was pronounced dead on the scene. As per her final request, Margaret’s body will be taken to the Hudson Bay where it will be weighted down and thrown in, finally reuniting her with her longtime hero and alleged lover Jimmy Hoffa.

Margaret was riding in an elevator with a newly installed Elevator Companion. The Elevator Companion is a device capable of small talk, political debate, and knock-knock jokes. It’s intent was to entertain passengers and prevent the awkward silence that often accompanies elevator rides with strangers.

The effect on Margaret was far different than intended.

“After we had gone up twenty or so floors, she just started flipping out,” said Sharon Meadows, a fellow passenger on the elevator.

Apparently Margaret was unaware that it was the elevator talking, mistaking it for the ghost of her long dead Uncle Charlie, who had been killed in an unfortunate pudding accident one year earlier.

“Margaret always blamed herself, and her love for pudding, for Charlie’s death,” said Margaret’s sister Jane.

Eyewitness accounts claim that Margaret attempted to apologize for the pudding incident but got less than stellar results from the elevator.

“He was cold, like a machine,” said one elevator rider.

With her apologies unaccepted, Margaret become angry with the elevator.

“She started to threaten it with physical harm,” said Meadows. “She was very angry, I’ve never seen anyone so angry with an elevator in my life.”

As they ascended up the building, Margaret’s anger became greater and greater with each story they rose until she finally lost it at floor 54.

“By now, her face was red, she just kept yelling and threatening the elevator,” said one passenger. “Then she hit all the buttons, punched out the window, and jumped right out.”

Margaret’s body proceeded to plummet 54 stories to the sidewalk below where she was promptly stopped by the pavement. Authorities felt it was the sudden landing that killed her, though her former boyfriend claimed she was already “dead inside”.

While the family was shocked by the incident, they were not surprised at the nature of Margaret’s death.
"She started to threaten it with physical harm. She was very angry, I’ve never seen anyone so angry with an elevator in my life."
- Sharon Meadows, elevator buff.


“She always had bad luck with elevators,” said Margaret’s mother. “When she was 8, an elevator stole her favorite doll. And when she was in high school, she was forced to get a restraining order against an elevator that just wouldn’t leave her alone.”

“When we


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Comments

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