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Beyond Minnie Me
by Mark on 6/25/2004 (0) 
 | | Minnie Seacrest...out! | | We all loved Minnie Doctor Evil, right? What about these Minnie Me's?
Minnie George W.Bush: Washington insiders tell of a Minnie G.W.Bee dressed in gray suit and red tie, rooting around the oval office looking for aspirin and pretzels. 'Little G', as he was known, was eventually sent to Shrub Ranch for security concerns, as Secret Service couldn't tell the difference between Minnie George and the real George. Same size.
Minnie Saddam: During Hussein's glory days, Minnie Saddam, known affectionately to the Republican Guard as 'Little Habbas', was a regular fixture around the Baghdad palace, snatching off birkas and looking up dresses. After the fall, rumor has it Minnie Saddam was still wandering the desert outside of Fallujah, wimpering after his deposed master. Apache helicopters have achieved missle locks on him several times, but each time a missle is fired, he mysteriously vanishes into the desert night.
Minnie Courtney Love: Originally hired to rattle a tamborine onstage at Love's concerts, relations became strained when 'Minnie Love' was goaded into sneaking into drug stores and stealing liquor and prescription pills. Branded a 'codependant enabler' by L.A. courts, Minnie Love was ordered to stay 500 feet away from Courtney at all times, and is reportedly working as a domestic in Rush Limbaugh's townhouse in Manhattan.
Minnie Ryan Seacrest: Bearing a terrifying resemblence to the evil doll 'Chucky' from the horror classic 'Seed of Chucky', Minnie Seacrest, in contrast to his mild mannered, affable namesake, is ill-mannered, obnoxious and dangerous. Tossed off the American Idol set for menacing Simon Cowell with a pair of scissors, Minnie Seacrest is reportedly wandering the streets of Hollywood looking for work, or someone sleeping in an alley, whichever he comes across first.
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