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Blasphemous Praying Mantis shunned by Peers
by Kris on 7/19/2004 (0)

Free to practice his own religion (or lack there of), only one word can adequately describe Gary Numan's mood.
Praying Mantises have long been known as the moderately sized insects continually seen praying to a higher God, most likely one of ancient Greek or Roman decent. Recent research at the Religious Bug Institute of Maryland has revealed not only a Mantis that doesn't pray, but also that his peers have seemingly banded against him.

"For whatever reason, this atheist bug, which we have named Gary Numan, has decided not to follow the traditional Mantis beliefs," said Dr. Richard Millen, head scientist and part-time janitor at the Religious Bug Institute. "He doesn't pray, he eats other insects on Fridays, and he refuses to attend Sunday services. And the other manti hate him for it."

The abuse that Gary Numan has received ranges from simple name calling to more physical abuse.

"Gary Numan often has to eat his meals alone, the other Manti typically won't associate with him," said Millen. "When they do, they say hurtful and derogatory remarks to him. But that has been some of the better treatment he's received."

"On numerous occasions, we've found Gary Numan lying in a pool of his own blood or whatever it is that a Mantis bleeds," said Marcy Williams, the head physician at the Religious Bug Institute. "They tie his claws together and beat him. Once, he was pelted with stones. On another occasion, he was affixed to a cross and left for dead."

Praying Mantises have long been one of the most religious insects, perhaps second only to Black Widow spider. They have been known to strictly follow their religious beliefs, which involve constant prayer and various fasting periods throughout the year.

"He doesn't pray, he eats other insects on Fridays, and he refuses to attend Sunday services. And the other manti hate him for it."
- Dr. Richard Millen, fictional scientist.
"After having sex with it's partner, the female Mantis while devour the head of the male," said Dr. Jack Jackson, a world leader in the field of insect religion. "This is a religious practice dating back to ancient Greece, which shows conclusively that the Praying Mantis is praying to almighty Zeus himself. It is believed that by eating the head of your partner, it releases an energy that Zeus uses to power his space defense systems, which have kept the dreaded Empire at bay for hundreds of years."

While no other cases of atheist Praying Mantises have been reported, may scientists predict that more instances will be discovered in the next few years.

"This Mantis has bucked the system, and it will give others the strength to follow," said Millen. "Others will hear of his great deeds and no longer feel that they must follow the traditional Mantis beliefs. They will be free to follow the religion of their choice, be it ath


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