Apathy Party Candidate drops out of Presidential Race
on 7/20/2004 (1)
The Apathetic Party of America received a shocking announcement at a press conference earlier today that left their members reeling with indifference.
|The real life horrors of apathy. |
"My heart just isn't in it anymore," said Jon Thompson. "Without a real passion for the job, I don't feel that I could properly represent the voice of the Apathetic Party. Due to this, and my overwhelming disinterest in politics, that I am stepping down as Presidential candidate for the Apathetic Party of America."
After the announcement, we spoke with many different party members about their thoughts on what had just occurred.
"It happens, I guess," said Tony Smith, life long apathy supporter. "He might of had good things to say, but I'm not really sure, I haven't really paid that much attention."
"I didn't really ever follow Thompson's political agenda, but he may or may not have done a good job," said Sally Johnson.
"I was never a big fan of Thompson," said Harry Johnson. "I mean, I didn't dislike him, but I didn't like him either. He was just kinda there."
Thompson grew up the middle child in a family of four. His father once described him as "that middle child that is there and that's great, but if he was gone, that'd be great too."
After finishing high school, Thompson attended St. Joseph's Community College in Idiot, North Dakota. Here he majored in General Studies.
"The degree program at St Joe's worked out great for me," said Thompson. "I didn't really care what I did, and General Studies allowed me to follow that dream."
Shortly after graduation, Thompson was recruited into the Apathy Party of America.
"I still remember the day I met Jon," said Bill Smith, recruiter for the Apathy Party. "He was a young man, full of indifference and disinterest. His lack of a strong stance on any issue was perfect for the party."
"It's a shame the Apathy Party got to him first," said Lord Zod, leader of the North Dakota division of the Happy Terrific Sun God Cult. "His lack of opinion and willingness to blindly follow suggestions is exactly the type we'd want for our clan."
After five years with the Apathy Party, in which his many indifferent views and laze faire style earned him a great deal of respect and admiration, party members nominated him as their candidate for the 2004 Presidential Elections.
| "Apathy is a terrible thing to waste, I guess." |
|- American Proverb. |
"They asked me if I wanted to run for President, and I said 'I don't care'," said Thompson. "And that's how my run at the Presidency begun."
After a tough six months of campaigning that saw him miss numerous debates and express his views on no important issues, Thompson removed himself from the race. The Apathetic Party has not chosen a replacement.
"We didn't really care if our<
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