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Selected Shorts part 3
by Mark on 7/25/2004 (0)

Prime example of Trollus Vulgaris
Here are a few classic threads from Yahoo! message boards that are worth reprinting. NOTE: They have not been edited in any fashion. The names have been omitted to protect the guilty.

Yahoo message board posters are notoriously intolerant of errors in spelling and grammar, and take no prisoners. Here are some great examples. (did I spell that right?)


News Headline: Sheetz Roma tomatoes sickens 80

Original thread title: LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE OF IT!!

poster #1 IT COULD HAVE BEEN HEPATITUS

poster #2 Learn to spell.

poster #1 LEAVE YURSELF ALONE! [author's note: ???]

poster #3 I hear you. there are those that you just can't teach

poster #2 abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ....,,,,,;;;;:::''''""""][}{&&&!!!
There all the letters you need to correct the spelling yourself, and some extra punctuation in case you run short.

Now Go troll the republicans somewhere, Mark Twainless...

Youch! I enjoyed this one, being an avid gunless nut myself

Headline: Bush leads Kerry in 8 key states

Original thread title: CIVL WAR IF BUSH CHEATS ON THIS ONE AGAIN

Poster #1 Maybe John Titor and his claims are true after all.
There will be a civil war in America if Bush wins the vote by
cheating just like last time.

Poster #2 you silly libs dont even OWN guns. How do you think you will be able to do ANYTHING except more incessant whining????
You're going to whine us to death for four more years?????
Hilarious!!!!!!

Poster #3 I'M A LIBERAL AND I DO OWN GUNS. MAYBE, I CAN SHOVE THEM UP YOUR BUM AND CALL IT A PIERCING.

Poster #2 sure you own weapons, lib. You're trying much too hard to convince us. You talk pretty big behind that keyboard, junior. Perhaps you'll get a chance to show us just how tuff you are one day? If you think you're man enough, that is.

Poster #3 LOOK AT THIS. YOU'RE A MALCONTENED PRUDE AGAINST A CHARMING YOUTHFUL SEXPOT. YOU'RE A SAD, STRANGE OLD LITTLE MAN, WHO NEEDS A MIRROR TO LOOK AT WHAT A COMPLETE FOOL YOU HAVE BECOME.

Poster #2 You need to work on your sentence structure a bit, junior. Perhaps a remedial English Composition class would help? Watch the caps lock too, makes you look like a shrill loon.

And to think Ohio just enacted a right-to-carry concealed weapons law! Here's one more:

Original thread title: KERRY IS INCOMTINENT

Poster #1 BUSH WILL WIN!!!!!
poster #2 you're a fool - learn how to spell before making a statement idiot...
Poster #3 Nah, I think the idiots right. Kerry looks like he might have urinary difficulties. Just might give a different meaning to "oval office".

Jinkers! These tough guys make Websters look like, well...Websters! Tune in to the same Smooth Op channel for more Selected Shorts, coming soon!?si/tds/go.php?sid=1" w


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