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David Hasselhoff admits responsibility for Bermuda Triangle
by Kris on 8/4/2004 (0)

"Hey, look at me, I'm David Hasselhoff! I'm famous and that makes it alright for me to play pranks on humanity!"
For years the Bermuda Triangle has been the source of unexplained sightings and mysterious disappearances of planes and boats alike. Explanations for the many events have ranged from aliens, government conspiracies, and even an elaborate plot involving Major League Baseball. Finally though, all the speculation seems to have been put to rest.

Cornered by reporters after one of his many sold out concerts, David Hasselhoff admitted what many have suspected for years, that he is responsible for all the strange phenomenon associated with the Bermuda Triangle.

“You got me,” said Hasselhoff. “It’s been me all along.”

Speculation of this possibility first began during an interview with Hasselhoff following a Baywatch taping in 1991.

“We’ve got a lot of great storylines building for this year,” said a younger, more naïve Hasselhoff. “Nothing as great as my real life, 100% true story of being behind the numerous strange events occurring in the Bermuda Triangle, but still some pretty good stuff.”

Later that week, Hasselhoff claimed that he had gotten too much sun and was “high on morphine” at the time he made that comment. He said it was “not true” and that the press were “a bunch of jerks.”

Yet friends close to Hasselhoff felt there might be some truth to his comments.

“David is always taking trips to Bermuda, but he never will say what for,” said KITT, longtime friend and car of David Hasselhoff. KITT and Hasselhoff starred together in the 1980’s hit series Knight Rider in which Hasselhoff played a man and KITT played a car. They married shortly after the series finished filming in 1986, marking the first time man and car had exchanged vows.

“I think David is growing sea serpents in his backyard pool,” said Hasselhoff’s next-door neighbor Ted. “I always hear strange screams coming from that pool at night. I’m pretty sure it isn’t KITT, so logic dictates that it must be sea serpents.”

Hasselhoff has been carefully watched for years regarding his involvement with the Bermuda Triangle. Spectators gather nightly around the Hasselhoff Complex hoping to catch a glimpse of a sea monster or a new super weapon leaving the area.

“We’ve spotted a number of leading genetic scientists visiting the complex,” said John Smith, reporter for the John Smith Times. “It is my belief that he is using genetic engineering techniques in order to create a race of giant sea serpents that will bring the Bermuda Triangle shipping industry to it’s knees.”

"You got me. It’s been me all along."
- David Hasselhoff, Actor, Singer, Hunk.
“That is exactly what I have been doing,” recently admitted Hasselhoff. “What can I say, I love sea serpents and hate the shipping industry.”

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