Oh Gawd! NOT AGAIN!!
on 8/18/2004 (7)
With the third season of American Idol still lingering in the stagnant August air like burning tires on a hot Christmas morning, America holds its breath, and its bladder, for another rough and tumble round.
|"I'll pay you 12 quid to bloody shoot me!" |
American Idol executive producer Nigel Lythgoe wrung a weathered 2003 Idol publicity tour photo in his hands like a choking chicken
"I-I don't know what to expect. I'm a bit apprehensive this time around, perhaps more so than any of the other times. Think about it. Somewhere, somehow, American Idol has taken on a political turn, and has become much bigger, not to mention uglier, than we had ever imagined."
Lythgoe's eyes lit up bigger than the Pope's on Fat Tuesday
"I mean, for God sakes, think about it. I've got a 50 year old man suing the show for age discrimination, I've been accused of racial discrimination in spite of the fact that Ruben and Fantasia are the previous 2 season winners, and in a directly related event, poor 16 year old John Stevens had recieved death threats. The phone systems were under suspicion of being abused or rigged, and even bloody Elton John turned on us. Not to mention the judges are harrassed and bullied by contestants with no talent and no sense of self awarness that tells them so."
When asked if he planned to renew the show year after year, Lythgoe chuckled
"Bloody hell yes. As long as we get ratings, of course. Indeed, it's this unforseen heated political intrigue that has enhanced the show's very success. We are planning to expand security this season, up to, and including, bullet proof vests for Simon and any and all non African-American contestants. After all, the show must go on!"
And thus the storm clouds brew over Hollywood once more, congealing and sworling, a seething, mad tempest of missed lines, busy signals, sour notes, contorted expressions and fractured refrainsone0" style="display:none">
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