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Weeble wobbles, and falls down.
by Kris on 8/19/2004 (0)

"I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down."
Weeble Wobbles have been around since the mid 1950’s and gained popularity for their resilience and determination, never staying down no matter how staggering the odds.

“Weeble Wobbles symbolize everything that is great about America,” said President John F. Kennedy at his inaugural address in 1961. “When they get knocked down, they get right back up. Not even Communism or Richard Nixon can keep Weelbes down.”

Over the years, many have tried to put Weebles down for good, but all previous efforts have failed. It is rumored that during the Cold War, the USSR had a team of thirty scientists working day and night in an effort to prevent Weebles from rising again.

“It’s true,” said our Russian informant. “In hindsight, there were probably a lot of better things those scientist could have been doing, but at the time it seemed like a great idea. Nothing would break the spirits of America more than destroying one of their national treasures.”

Only days ago, Nat Silver did what these scientists and millions of others never could, he knocked a Weeble down and it stayed down.

“I was shocked, absolutely shocked,” said Silver. “You hear about things like this, but you never expect it to happen to you.”

Nat Silver was born in the small town of Detroit, Michigan to one of the few remaining cattle herding families. His birth name was Ford Pinto, but he changed it upon turning 18, citing that the name “sounded like a low priced automobile that would explode if involved in a rear-end collision.”

Never a smart man, Nat took to what always came natural to him, hitting people.

“Nat was always hitting people,” said Nat’s mother, Ford Festiva. “I’d take him to the grocery story, and he’d hit the other customers or the stock boys. It was pretty funny, until he punched out the manager and we were banned from the store. She didn’t appreciate it like we did.”

After years of hitting people, Nat entered the amateur boxing circuit. While he had a natural ability to hit, he also had an innate ability to be hit.

“I haven’t seen a man take a beating like that since Rodney King,” said Nat’s manager Don Willis, clearly forgoing any sense of decency. “Unless of course you count the beating Nat took in his last fight, that was just brutal. The time before that was bad too.”

After amassing a 0-126 record, Nat officially hung up his boxing cap, took off his boxing shoes, removed his boxer shorts, and turned to his other passion, professional wrestling.

"Weeble Wobbless symbolize everything that is great about America. When they get knocked down, they get right back up. Not even Communism or Richard Nixon can keep Weelbes down."
- President John F. Kennedy
Cool dude, nice hair.
“He practiced day and night, running up stairs, liftin


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