The Smooth Operator spelling bee
on 8/26/2004 (5)
O.K., o.k., you bums. We at Smooth Operator can take a hint.
|"Yay! It''s the Smooth Operator spelling bee!" |
Consider the e-mail from annoying_spelling_cop which read: "learn how to spell, you goddamn idiots. I have a hard time laffing if I can't reed what you are sailing."
Very funny, Thor Heyerdahl. In response to my fully loaded Yahoo bulk folder, which I semi-affectionately call the "Hate Bin", I thought Kris and I should clear up what we consider to be the appropriate use of the English language on smthop.com. Grab, (or take) a number 2 and come with me.
We consider a number of variants of this word to be acceptable, including 'achive', 'acheive', 'a chive' and 'green onions'. Keep in mind that we're a bunch of guys who take achievement and green onions very seriously.
Alternative spellings accepted on smthop.com include 'sucess', 'succes', 'succex','sex' and 'blowjob'. Being a liberal, equal opportunity employer, smthop.com is constantly on the lookout for success minded women. Apply now!
We'll take 'maneurism', 'manureism', or just plain 'manure' After all, it takes manners to 'grow' a website, right? (It also takes sap to make maple syrup, and that was as sappy as it gets. Jeeeze!)
Common "smooth speak" includes 'privlaged', 'privlelidged', 'partridges' and 'pillagers'. Fact is, the way some of our stories go, you'll never notice the difference. As it is, we try to use this word at the tail end of our stories, the reasoning being 95 percent of smthop.com readers lose interest before they make it that far. Damn pillagers.
In closing, I want to assure all of our loyal readers (and potential stalkers), that we will take every precaution possible to comply with the rules governing the King's English including, and up to, using spell and grammar check before we post a new document, and responding to your queries in a timely fashion, or at least before the stories drop off the main page and hit the archives.
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