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ER Nurse Uses Inappropriate Bedside Manner On Gang Shooting Victim
by Mark on 11/27/2004 (1)

"Smile? Doctor, I am smiling!"
MIAMI - Gang banger Guiermo "Guy-Guy" Ramirez recieves puzzling bedside manners at Miami ER ward


Clutching his scrotum like a soggy bag of Lucky Charms cereal, Ramirez moaned and groaned, drawing the attention of the Miami ER ward nursing staff.

"Would like some ginger ale, sweety? Can I get you another pillow? Here...let me turn you on your right side, okay?"

Grimacing wildy, Ramirez protested loudly

"Mi Dios! ¡Mis bolas se están quemando!"

Nurse Cratchett coo-cooed Ramirez playfully

"Now, now, Mr. Ramirez, it's just a little bullet nick on your scrotum. We'll have you stitched up and out of here in no time. Would you like something to eat? Some delicious and healthfull fresh fruit perhaps?"

Indeed, such a scene is being played out across America, as more and more gang related shootings hit ER rooms, nurses and doctors have predictably become emotionally detatched in an act of psychological self-preseveration. Senseless gang related violence plauges hospitals, and places an enormous burden on the health care system, as most so-called "Gangbangers" predictably don't have health insurance.

Doctor Bill Schwartz strode in, flipping through a few charts

"Gotcha in the balls, huh, Gueirmo? Nurse! 10 cc's of Morphine, a Penicillin I.V. and a tennis racket! HAHAHA!!"u


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