Iraqi Beanie Baby Drop Goes Awry, Dozens Injured
Baghdad – A non-profit program that started out with the most sincere of aspirations ended Tuesday with horrible confusion in a small area on the outskirts of Baghdad.
|This was not the intended result. |
Operation Beanie Baby Drop was supposed to be a boost for the U.S. military’s affairs with the local Iraqis after months of frayed relations. The drop was organized by a Phoenix-area teen who was inspired by similar drives for food and first aid equipment.
Eliza Kimbrew, a high school junior, sought to bring a little beanie joy to the non-beanie world of Iraq. Kimbrew donated her entire collection of four hundred twenty Ty Beanie Babies and passed out fliers around her high school. Before she knew it the movement took off. “People across the nation were sending their old beanies, from Tom the Tiger to Clarence the Cooterhound, to us,” explained Eliza.
In all, 25,000 beanie babies were sent to the Iraqi capitol for disbursement. Apparently though, the message that the great “Beanie Baby Drop” was not in fact a drop, but rather a handout was lost on the U.S. military members in charge.
As the eager beanie lovers gathered at the designated “drop site” at the designated “drop time” they were met with an unexpected barrage. One by one, beanie babies littered the ground at speed of over six-hundred miles an hour. Dropped from 20,000 feet by a U.S. cargo plane the children’s toys instantly became fluffy instruments of destruction.
One anonymous army official recounted the scene in graphic detail. “(The Beanie Babies) came screaming out of the sky like muppets of death. You don’t know hell until you’ve seen a Jabber the Parrot doll take out a building front. Like a hot knife through butter.”
The incident left dozens of Iraqi citizens dazed and several in need of medical attention. The army issued no formal statement on the matter, only saying that there would be a full investigation. “We do intend to get to the furry bottom of this,” says one army official.
The U.S. led coalition has little room for error in Iraq. Prior to what is now being referred to as “Beanie Mishap” the British troops in Bazra staged a “Halloween in June” themed party for the people of that southern Iraqi city. Bags and bags of candy from Mexico, that country’s only contribution as a part of the coalition, were passed out before it was discovered that they contained dangerously high levels of lead.i0"<
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