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Space Station Low On Food, Astronauts Wisely Decide To Diet
by Mark on 12/9/2004 (0)

Dominos does not deliver!
CAPE KENNEDY - Food is running so low aboard the international space station that the two crewmen aboard the ISS have been instructed to cut back on calories, at least until a Russian supply ship arrives in a little over two weeks.

American astronaut Leroy Chiao describes his celestial belt tightening ordeal

"Actually, this is great! I've been a little on the heavy side since grade school, and now NASA has given me the real chance to slim down once and for all. Since the closest Burger King is about 125 miles straight down, how can I miss?!"

Subconsciously pressing a hand to his growling stomach, Russian Cosmonaut Salizhan Sharipov agrees

"I have some condensed borscht and several cans of pickled fish left. What more do I need? Soldiers in Red Army survived on less during seige of Stalingrad. I too can stand to lose a few kilos or two. I am just fine."

A Russian Soyuz cargo craft is scheduled to resupply the ISS on Christmas, the crew counting on its arrival. NASA estimates there is enough food to last seven to 14 days beyond Christmas Day, after which there will be nothing left.

Meanwhile, Chiao and Sharipov will continue to slim down.

The American Dietetic Association has long contended that separating dieters from ready availability to food is a critical component of successful weight loss, but never pondered "Putting 17,000 mph, 125 miles straight up and a dicey Russian supply rocket launch between 3 ounces of broasted chicken, a half a cup of cottage cheese and a celery stick."


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